Day 48: Glorious

Today, He has assured me a space reserved for me in heaven, in the royal orchestra in the courts of the King of all kings, who is also my ever close companion. I belong in the category of 'uncategorized worshippers', being exactly just who He made to me be, in His presence giving a totally unique form of praise, right beside all the other uncategorized worshippers, giving glory to Him in their own way. To dance and sing with this orchestra, alongside the simultaneous choir of angels and orchestra of all creation, both big and small, to displace glory to Him who deserves it in the very perfect nature that God will help me to obtain, is nothing short of what I now want.

It is a great honour and no mean feat playing beside a person of glory, the glory of an overcomer. But our King, who we play for, wears the glory of an Overcomer who vanquished all his foes, a Prince who still is undefeated to this day, an Intercessor who never has failed, and the glory of one who underwent great grief and sorrow and came out of it victorious. How much more infinite is this honour! How exceeding, this joy of playing in the courts of the King who owns the oldest kingdom, the largest kingdom, the most powerful kingdom, the kingdom of love, the kingdom which endures forever! Time is short. Eternity is long. I have decided to make every effort to worship like I'm in heaven. Not only in mere time. But in all eternity.

If you would delight in His glory hereafter, He must be glorious in your sight now. Is He so?

The gospel

is bold and fearless - we have to proclaim it whether men like it or not..
is gentle - some professors are sharper than thorn-hedges.. don't be like them.
is loving - "Love one another"
is holy - shun not only the grosser vices, but everything which hinders perfect conformity to Christ

Day 36

Love so rich, You understand
My poor spirit cant comprehend
Price so great I cant repay
Treasure that does not fade away

Love unrivalled, love so strong
To this delight I bring this song
Heav'n may perish, Earth will end
But thy great love shall always stand.

I am Yours, not half my heart,
A tribute to you, my every part,
I am forever Yours.
Because of your love
Because of your love

Day 12

Psalm 149:4
The Lord taketh pleasure in His people.

How comprehensive is the love of Jesus! There is no part of His people's interests which He does not consider, and there is nothing which concerns their welfare which is not important to Him. Not merely does He think of you, believer, as an immortal being, but as a mortal being too. Do not deny it or doubt it: "The very hairs of your head are all numbered." "The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord: and he delighteth in His way." It were a sad thing for us if this mantle of love did not cover all our concerns, for what mischief might be wrought to us in that part of our business which did not come under our gracious Lord's inspection! Believer, rest assured that the heart of Jesus cares about your meaner affairs. The breadth of His tender love is such that you may resort to Him in all matters; for in all your afflictions He is afflicted, and like as a father pitieth his children, so doth He pity you. The meanest interests of all His saints are all borne upon the broad bosom of the Son of God. Oh, what a heart is His, that doth not merely comprehend the persons of His people, but comprehends also the diverse and innumerable concerns of all those persons! Dost thou think, O Christian, that thou canst measure the love of Christ? Think of what His love has brought thee-justification, adoption, sanctification, eternal life! The riches of His goodness are unsearchable; thou shalt never be able to tell them out or even conceive them. Oh, the breadth of the love of Christ! Shall such a love as this have half our hearts? Shall it have a cold love in return? Shall Jesus' marvellous lovingkindness and tender care meet with but faint response and tardy acknowledgment? O my soul, tune thy harp to a glad song of thanksgiving! Go to thy rest rejoicing, for thou art no desolate wanderer, but a beloved child, watched over, cared for, supplied, and defended by thy Lord.

Day 6: Not Everything is as it Seems

One would define his own life by the choices he has made, or more precisely, how the choices affected him and the people around him. As everyone else, I have made many wrong choices in life, but, I define it as a wrong choice. Not everybody does. Hence, not everything is as it seems.

Even before making any decision, one would make assumptions, hypothesize certain things, laying out different courses of action that are considered beneficial to oneself. Yet, he cannot define the true outcome or circumstance of any action. He can only anticipate it. He cannot guarantee it. That is the future. Future is uncertainty. Future is fear inducing. The future must be controlled to the highest degree possible by that man, or he will consider himself insecure. I have learnt very recently that the future is not what it seems. Even the present.

I am in a dilemma, in which I have to decide between two things, whereby both decisions have one common, primary goal, that is to benefit a certain someone the most. Yet, I know not the most correct, beneficial, worthwhile decision to make. And when I am in this dilemma, I am biased to a decision because I know that I will benefit as well, from that particular decision. A secondary goal, that is.

After gathering sufficient intelligence, data, information, one would conclude the safest decision, from a viewpoint called viewpoint A. However, not everything is as it seems. From viewpoint B, that intelligence, data, and information may or may not be wrongly interpreted.

When applied in my case, my intuition may well be a misconception, or it may not. Anyway, after logically explaining everything to myself, I comfort myself by deciding on a particular course of action, action A. Suddenly, new intel comes by, I reverse my course of action. And I redefine everything, and make a new decision, course of action B. Yet again, more data comes by, and turns everything I've worked for upside down, and makes me turn it all back up, rearrange everything, and decide on a new course of action, action C. And the cycle continues for many, many, many, excruciating hours, and how many more hours must I endure? Three months.

Why must I think so much? I do not know. Is this very important to me. An absolute yes.

God, help me. I need it.

Day 4: I declare War

^{1 Samuel 17:18}
Fight the Lord's battles.

^{Ephesians 6:10-18
10}Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. ¹¹Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. ¹²For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. ¹³Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. ¹⁴Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, ¹⁵and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. ¹⁶In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. ¹⁷Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. ¹⁸And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.

Every morning I wake up and pray that I pick up my cross, and yet, I fight my own battles, I fight battles alone. I forget to fight the Lord's battles. Battles that are bigger than mine, battles that He will surely win. Exams? Careers? Relationships? I seem to miss out on God's battle plan. While the rest of the saints are out there risking their lives for God in combat, I'm lazing around in the campsite..

Sigh, how much time have I wasted my life worrying about my businesses. Jesus always goes about His Father's business. So I must go about Abba's business too. Today God reminded me of His battles, against the evil one. So today I have decided to remember the Lord's battles everyday. I choose to forget my trivial, petty arguments.

So to go to battle, I need your armor, o Lord. Help me to put on the equipment, and ready myself to the battle stations. Show me to my position. Am I a frontline warrior? Am I a paramedic? Am I the support beams? Strengthen my feeble knees, afraid and weak I am. Help me Lord, to fight your battles and at the same time deal with my fleshly needs and lusts. I know that my battle gear comes with the shield of faith! You are ever in the midst of the fight, and therefore the battle is not doubtful. As the conflict rages, it is sweet satisfaction to know that You, our great Intercessor, Commander of our army, are prevalently pleading for your people. This lifetime, help me to fight your battles, your way, and by Your grace I will succeed.

Let us as saints, fight as if it all depended upon us, but let us look up and know that all depends upon Him. Onward! For the fight is not ours, but the Lord's.