Update

Yea la soon lar stop kacauing me. *I'm talking to my more hardworking self; this is my lazy self telling me I should sleep and get ready for exam tomorrow*

oh Pengurusan Persatuan, why art thou even an exam paper.. is the university(and therefore the government) going to decide how much soft skills you have with a piece of paper?!?!..

Thank You Holy Spirit for the strength to complete studies for this paper. You and I both know it took me a lot of strength. It's not like I finished studying it anyway, but thanks!

Denied. Foregone. Kept..

Things are going well, too well. Things are way too comfortable. You know, it feel like it's time to get into trouble again, and then get transformed by God's amazing grace. Somehow, something deep inside is nudging, saying: "you're getting sucked into the world's matrix, or terraform, or lifestyle; they mean the same. Sigh, you know, when you read God's word, it makes you feel like you're somehow going to end up in hell; not because you don't believe in Jesus Christ, but because you're not daily picking up my cross and following Him.

I have 24 hours a day, and yet I don't devote that 24 hours to GOD. Going to church, doing the 'Christian' thing, all seems too easy, u know what I mean? When it comes to the stuff that matters, such as obeying God, staying away from sin, repentance, daily picking up my cross for Jesus Christ, losing my life for Him ( not to say one literally dies, but well, to give up on earthly pleasures such as food, games, fun, dying to sinful nature) , giving to those that cannot repay me, forgiving people, loving them, it's so difficult to do.

And right now, know that loving God is obeying Him, and loving those that He loves. So hard la. Sheesh.. Because it's so hard to love and obey and trust God, it's so beautiful to know that He understands our hopeless situation.

Praise to the Holy Spirit, because He's always there for me, whenever and wherever.
Praise to Jesus, for He is, at every moment, praying and asking the Father to forgive me, who is so weak and foolish.

A life denied and foregone for Him, is a far greater life kept waiting beyond the gates of heaven, within the glorious city walls.

Grace is

It is the element that the Steadfast Defender supplies to do His will. Grace is not wantonness, it is not for boasting, it is for service. As it is, grace is bread from heaven, by which we receive heavenly strength, to do heavenly works. When Elijah had his cake of bread and water from the angel, he did not consume it at ease. Far otherwise! It became 40days and 40nights of strength, to continue the journey to Horeb. It is symbolic of the Master's grace. Before Elijah received manna, Jezebel was pursuing him to take his life. And only just before that, He slaughtered hundreds of false prophets, bringing glory to God.

Therefore, as we receive it, we ought not to forget that it is given, not for us to continue in the chains that bind us, but for us to faithfully turn away from the chains of sin. Let us not receive the measure of strength provided by grace just so we can remain in our corrupt ways. Let us receive of that strength to fight the Jezebels of our faith.

Earth is preparation for heaven. Heaven is the place where the believers work most and feast most. It is in heaven that the joy of the faithful is to serve Him. Render then, o my heart, the service justly required of grace, that I may not enter heaven and regret that I have not worked enough for your glory. May my body be battered and broken and bruised for Christ, that I may feed on greater manna, in anxious wait of the end of the race after which the prize given would be far greater.

Forgive me GOD, if I find no trouble living on You, and yet are not so anxious to live for You. Transform me, with the daily bread You give me, to bring heaven on Earth, your Kingdom come. Teach me, disciple me, for I wan't to be anxious to give you glory for the grace you so freely give. Remind me that grace is for Your glory, not for my satisfaction.