Credits to:

Tuesday, November 24, 2009


How would you feel if for the first time,you invested so much effort to help the less fortunate,being naive in the other details, and someone just STEPS IN and says, NO, and you can't do nothing about it.

It's like, you want to donate rm5 to a poor person, but, that person says, "one day u will need that rm5... You have to keep that rm5! otherwise I'll...."
All you want is to be helpful, and someone just comes in and ruin everything.

[Insert Your Response]
eg. I would push that person aside, and say "Here, take this rm5 too, if you're so dissatisfied with my charity, oh so holy being. Put your money somewhere other than your mouth"

Sunday, November 22, 2009

PAS (2)

come to think about it, three posts ago I said I wanted GOD to teach me how to love and be hated. And now that he's training me, I'm being indifferent.

I must really be a letdown to GOD. 'Uncool'. Still, God is love and love won't leave me. So what if I'm hated? He loves me. You too.


Perpetually-Annoyed-Syndrome.. Anyone relating to this?

It's seriously irritating when someone doesn't treat you with the respect that an individual deserves. So what about it? Do you swallow it in, pretend nothing ever happened? Do you unleash the impending wrath upon your oppressor(s)? I'm the latter persona. Sometimes I wish I knew how to... , no, I definitely want to be able to correct lovingly. But love is difficult. "Yeah, tell me about it", says my inner self. Is it because of my own lack of patience, a fault of my Creator? Nah, that's not possible.
Two perspectives in this scenario:

Simply, IRRITATED LIKE MAD LAH!!!! It's even more irritating when IRRITATOR is someone you are close to. (Note that I didn't use the term love). NOTABLY when that someone is a CHRISTIAN. Do this, do that. You shouldn't say this, that's a badword! If you truly love GOD you would listen to so and so speak instead of spending your time doing useless things like you're doing now. I can't rely on you, you're so unreliable. You are facing all this issues because of that sin lah, there, you remember that sin?

CUT THE CRAP,you self-righteous, guilt-piling (insert irritating person here)..
I'm already feeling judgemental at this point, so I'll leave it as it is.


Fill in the blanks, you who regard yourself to be here. I dareth not conclude this is how you feel: BUT the following probably is, 'well maybe':

Simply, IRRITATED LIKE MAD LAH!!!! It's even more irritating when IRRITATOR is someone you are close to. (Note that I didn't use the term love). NOTABLY when that someone is a CHRISTIAN. Do this, do that. You shouldn't say this, that's a badword! If you truly love GOD you would listen to so and so speak instead of spending your time doing useless things like you're doing now. I can't rely on you, you're so unreliable. You are facing all this issues because of that sin lah, there, you remember that sin?

CUT THE CRAP,you self-righteous, guilt-piling (insert irritating person here)..
I'm already feeling judgemental at this point, so I'll leave it as it is.


It feels terrible on either side of the wall. Sigh. Even right now, I'm still feeling as if I've been dealt injustice. JESUS definitely has gone through what I have. What would you do, LORD?

Thursday, November 19, 2009


Hard leh..

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Love and be hated, or hate love Himself

Matt 10:25 -> It is enough for the student to be like his teacher, and the servant like his master..

You were hated, LORD Jesus, despised by the very people you loved, scorned by the people you saved. As such, make me that way too, that I may be like you. As you have worn a crown of thorns, let me not wear a crown of jewel made by man, for it is dishonouring. Show me the way to wear this painful crown of thorns, and to bear this heavy cross. May I walk as you have walked, like a man without a place to lay his head. Teach me how to love and be hated, so that I may be considered worthy of a place in heaven near to You. Let me not say I love you with words, but hate you by not picking up my cross daily.

and I thought being a Christian was easy.

picture courtesy of

Sunday, November 08, 2009

me? worship leader?

if you can so casually describe worship as a lifestyle and not a liturgy, then worship leading isn't about leading a 5 piece band anymore. Will it not be about showing people how to live their lives?

If it's about picking up my own cross, then I'm no worship leader.

Saturday, November 07, 2009


Hmm, sometimes when I'm bored, and always right before bedtime, you do a magical appearance within the recesses of my brain. **Poof!!** No idea why, but you just pop up. As my mind's eye sees you, then my mind's lips will kind of smile. Just the kind of smile I want to drop off at your doorstep where you live. I would want to tell you at that very instant, that the smile carries a message, "Hi I thought of you today. I wondered yesterday if you were doing okay. And I hope that tomorrow I'll think of you again."

Aiyo, it's your fault I can't treat my pillow and bolster as cushions, pretending those things were you. Meant to help me sleep, but inadvertently became reminders of you. So I end up lying awake longer than usual, every night. You; the dream that makes we want to stay asleep. Maybe the doctors ought to add these to reasons for insomnia.

I wonder if I suddenly appear in your mind too, sometimes.
Sigh, this love leaves me bleeding, this love won't leave me alone.
I don't have enough blood to spill for you.
Wish I do, but reality reflects that I don't.
At least not yet. The groans and pains of waiting.

Monday, November 02, 2009


Since I'm so procrastinative, I might as well take some time to list down what I really am passionate about.... brb. gonna play Monopoly first. lol

Sunday, November 01, 2009

Hypocritical Christians

If I can't lay down my life now, I may never be able to lay down my life anymore.
If I can't pick up my cross today, I will most likely not pick up my cross tomorrow
If I can't do what God want's me to do now, I may miss out on it forever.
When you compare 50 more years on earth to Eternity in hell, time is indeed of the essence..

Hypocritical Christians, like me, exist everywhere. You claim to know GOD, but deny him by the way you live. Worship Him in spirit, but not in truth. Sing songs of adoration, and yet hate your neighbour. Say you gotta skip class to attend a CF meeting, say you've got to put down a responsibility so you can worship-lead at a concert. Are you serving you, or are you serving God?

Time to wake up, or you and I are going to end up in hell. I don't want to hear the Father saying 'Depart from me, evildoer'.. What's the point of spending Sundays under a steeple,in a church-masquerade-play, and yet you can't spend a cent of your pocket money in helping the needy. What is the church? a museum for saints, or a hospital for sinners?

It's hard to be a christian, but never not worth the cost.

Saturday, October 31, 2009


Yea la soon lar stop kacauing me. *I'm talking to my more hardworking self; this is my lazy self telling me I should sleep and get ready for exam tomorrow*

oh Pengurusan Persatuan, why art thou even an exam paper.. is the university(and therefore the government) going to decide how much soft skills you have with a piece of paper?!?!..

Thank You Holy Spirit for the strength to complete studies for this paper. You and I both know it took me a lot of strength. It's not like I finished studying it anyway, but thanks!

Friday, October 30, 2009

Denied. Foregone. Kept..

Things are going well, too well. Things are way too comfortable. You know, it feel like it's time to get into trouble again, and then get transformed by God's amazing grace. Somehow, something deep inside is nudging, saying: "you're getting sucked into the world's matrix, or terraform, or lifestyle; they mean the same. Sigh, you know, when you read God's word, it makes you feel like you're somehow going to end up in hell; not because you don't believe in Jesus Christ, but because you're not daily picking up my cross and following Him.

I have 24 hours a day, and yet I don't devote that 24 hours to GOD. Going to church, doing the 'Christian' thing, all seems too easy, u know what I mean? When it comes to the stuff that matters, such as obeying God, staying away from sin, repentance, daily picking up my cross for Jesus Christ, losing my life for Him ( not to say one literally dies, but well, to give up on earthly pleasures such as food, games, fun, dying to sinful nature) , giving to those that cannot repay me, forgiving people, loving them, it's so difficult to do.

And right now, know that loving God is obeying Him, and loving those that He loves. So hard la. Sheesh.. Because it's so hard to love and obey and trust God, it's so beautiful to know that He understands our hopeless situation.

Praise to the Holy Spirit, because He's always there for me, whenever and wherever.
Praise to Jesus, for He is, at every moment, praying and asking the Father to forgive me, who is so weak and foolish.

A life denied and foregone for Him, is a far greater life kept waiting beyond the gates of heaven, within the glorious city walls.

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

Grace is

It is the element that the Steadfast Defender supplies to do His will. Grace is not wantonness, it is not for boasting, it is for service. As it is, grace is bread from heaven, by which we receive heavenly strength, to do heavenly works. When Elijah had his cake of bread and water from the angel, he did not consume it at ease. Far otherwise! It became 40days and 40nights of strength, to continue the journey to Horeb. It is symbolic of the Master's grace. Before Elijah received manna, Jezebel was pursuing him to take his life. And only just before that, He slaughtered hundreds of false prophets, bringing glory to God.

Therefore, as we receive it, we ought not to forget that it is given, not for us to continue in the chains that bind us, but for us to faithfully turn away from the chains of sin. Let us not receive the measure of strength provided by grace just so we can remain in our corrupt ways. Let us receive of that strength to fight the Jezebels of our faith.

Earth is preparation for heaven. Heaven is the place where the believers work most and feast most. It is in heaven that the joy of the faithful is to serve Him. Render then, o my heart, the service justly required of grace, that I may not enter heaven and regret that I have not worked enough for your glory. May my body be battered and broken and bruised for Christ, that I may feed on greater manna, in anxious wait of the end of the race after which the prize given would be far greater.

Forgive me GOD, if I find no trouble living on You, and yet are not so anxious to live for You. Transform me, with the daily bread You give me, to bring heaven on Earth, your Kingdom come. Teach me, disciple me, for I wan't to be anxious to give you glory for the grace you so freely give. Remind me that grace is for Your glory, not for my satisfaction.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

The Cost

of following Jesus is more than a simple prayer to Him. It's faith and obedience. Or it might as well be an 'Indulgences' letter that u buy..

Monday, September 28, 2009


an unbridled expression of love to God.

Thursday, September 24, 2009


It is a blessed thing to not have props and buttresses, to have sole reliance upon the Holy Spirit.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Superficial Layer Cake

Everything's so layer-cake like. But beneath all those layers, lies an integrated, homogeneous personality that truly describes you. But until then,

I have one superficial personality in front of acquaintances
I have one superficial personality in front of people I find weird
I have one superficial personality in front of lecturers
I have one superficial personality in front of Christians
I have one superficial personality in front of guys
I have one superficial personality in front of girls
I have one superficial personality in front of a girl I have the 'ahem' for
--that's a superficial statement right there because I'm shy to tell the truth :*) --
I have one superficial personality in front of each familiy member

Truth is, I only have one clear cut personality, just like everyone else.
I can't be everyone, I can truly only be me.

And that sort of me is found only in my beloved Jesus.
Oh the beauty of it all.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Surety Himself

Fear not. GOD is near. Rest rejoicing in your Surety.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Deny God or Deny Me?

Make no mistake, we are indeed living in difficult times (2 Tim 2:3-4). This morning's church service and devotions combined to produce a significant warning from the Father; Many Christians profess with their mouths that they know GOD, but deny him by the way they live. And they go on deceiving others while bringing them down along with them.

10For there are many rebellious people, mere talkers and deceivers, especially those of the circumcision group. 11They must be silenced, because they are ruining whole households by teaching things they ought not to teach—and that for the sake of dishonest gain. 12Even one of their own prophets has said, "Cretans are always liars, evil brutes, lazy gluttons." 13This testimony is true. Therefore, rebuke them sharply, so that they will be sound in the faith 14and will pay no attention to Jewish myths or to the commands of those who reject the truth. 15To the pure, all things are pure, but to those who are corrupted and do not believe, nothing is pure. In fact, both their minds and consciences are corrupted. 16They claim to know God, but by their actions they deny him. They are detestable, disobedient and unfit for doing anything good. ->Titus 1:10-16<-

And I come back to think about the way I live. Too much self-indulgence. Sure, I don't bow down to physical idols, but I sure spend lots of energy to please myself. Entertainment has become an idol, drawing me away from time spent with GOD. A regrettable waste of eternal blesssings comes when I waste my time. Faith without deeds is dead, faith without obedience is dead. Even demons have faith, and believe that God is real. It's just that demons do not obey GOD nor do they give up their lives for Him. The only thing that separates us from these demons is the way we live.

"Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by what I do. You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that - and shudder." ->James 2:18-19<-

Phew. Am I faithful yet disobedient? Am I professing yet contradicting? I pray not. Teach me, dear Holy Spirit, to work out my salvation with fear and trembling, to deny myself in order that I will not deny you. May earthly pleasures seem dull, may perishable treasures be of no worth to me, that I may find only You as my true fulfilment. Let me not disqualify myself from the prize that you have already promised me. Crucify my earthly, mortal, lustful being to Your wondrous cross again and again and again. Sanctify me, purify me, I cannot do so on my own. That You dear Jesus. Sweet Jesus. Amen.

All to Jesus I surrender;
all to him I freely give;
I will ever love and trust him,
in his presence daily live.

I surrender all, I surrender all,
all to thee, my blessed Savior,
I surrender all.

All to Jesus I surrender;
humbly at his feet I bow,
worldly pleasures all forsaken;
take me, Jesus, take me now.

All to Jesus I surrender;
make me, Savior, wholly thine;
fill me with thy love and power;
truly know that thou art mine.

All to Jesus I surrender;
Lord, I give myself to thee;
fill me with thy love and power;
let thy blessing fall on me.

All to Jesus I surrender;
now I feel the sacred flame.
O the joy of full salvation!
Glory, glory, to his name!

Friday, September 04, 2009


In Christianity, the beauty of being lonely is that, we know that we're never truly alone.
In having no friends, family or spouse, we have Jesus. So sweet to believe in you, who are sweet in nature, gentle and faithful.

The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not want.

The LORD trieth the righteous

Psalm 11:5
The Lord trieth the righteous.

All events are under the control of Providence; consequently all the trials of our outward life are traceable at once to the great First Cause. Out of the golden gate of God's ordinance the armies of trial march forth in array, clad in their iron armour, and armed with weapons of war. All providences are doors to trial. Even our mercies, like roses, have their thorns. Men may be drowned in seas of prosperity as well as in rivers of affliction. Our mountains are not too high, and our valleys are not too low for temptations: trials lurk on all roads. Everywhere, above and beneath, we are beset and surrounded with dangers. Yet no shower falls unpermitted from the threatening cloud; every drop has its order ere it hastens to the earth. The trials which come from God are sent to prove and strengthen our graces, and so at once to illustrate the power of divine grace, to test the genuineness of our virtues, and to add to their energy. Our Lord in His infinite wisdom and superabundant love, sets so high a value upon His people's faith that He will not screen them from those trials by which faith is strengthened. You would never have possessed the precious faith which now supports you if the trial of your faith had not been like unto fire. You are a tree that never would have rooted so well if the wind had not rocked you to and fro, and made you take firm hold upon the precious truths of the covenant grace. Worldly ease is a great foe to faith; it loosens the joints of holy valour, and snaps the sinews of sacred courage. The balloon never rises until the cords are cut; affliction doth this sharp service for believing souls. While the wheat sleeps comfortably in the husk it is useless to man, it must be threshed out of its resting place before its value can be known. Thus it is well that Jehovah trieth the righteous, for it causeth them to grow rich towards God.

-Charles H. Spurgeon

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

Waiting to be graceful

We only live 24 hours a day, 168 hours a week, 720 hours a month, and the redundant list goes on. There is only so much that we can do. How fallible we are when it comes to self discipline. Procrastination, laziness (ie, Facebook, Computer Games), that we miss out on so much of His blessings. Alas, disobedience to God in terms of our time forbids so much of his great blessings. Worst of all, doubting that God will never leave us nor forsake us. How terrible it is to doubt his inerrant character, it's like saying He might have made a mistake somewhere. Such faithlessness.. such worry.

Yet, there is a pair of loving arms waiting to be extended to me, in the bosom of my Lord my Saviour. In His embrace, what do I have to worry? It reminds me that He is my portion, it reminds me that nothing else matters in the light of Him. O Sweet Jesus, what are you thinking of now?

LORD, thanks for waiting just to show your graciousness to me. Each moment of life does not go uninspected because of your great love. Teach me to hate faithlessness, to shun doubt, for that is not fitting for Your people. Your tender heart Jesus, waits to hear my grief, let me pour them into Your patient ear. What am I afraid of when You're around?

Monday, August 31, 2009

The Encouragement Blog

You know you run out post ideas when your posts start with your blogtitles. My blogging interest, and frequency has decreased, with the latter as the result of the former.


I need some inspiration. Need some peer pressure, need a fresh new experience. Back when I started this blog, I intended for it to be a place of encouragement, not some crap-unloading junkyard. But as every artist knows, inspiration isn't easy to get. Where do I hunt?


Happy 52nd anniversary Malaysia! but as for me, my freedom came about 2009 years ago.. Praise GOD!

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Just because you're unconventional

Have you ever felt that making the right decision makes you look like the antagonist? The bad guy? Have you ever, even for a banana split second,prior to making a decision that might offend someone else, considered if that someone else(or more) will annoyed at you? But for the sake of just proving that some people just must have things their way, you decided to make that annoying decision anyway, regardless right or wrong.

It's your turn to sweep the floor!
Nevermind lah, I'll do it tomorrow.
NO! It's gotta be done today!

Why you cut the ginger like that wan?? Got put salt or not?
Dunnolah, I usually don't use salt for this dish.
Aiya, that one it's your home lah, now different lar..

"and the list goes on.."

I can imagine living under one roof with that special someone. If everything is going to be democratically run in a family (ie. how housemates govern the home) , imagine the amount of considerations going through your head in one go; having need to discuss every trivial detail. With so many other commitments, academic and social alike, how much more room can your head store? C'mon guys, chill, cut me some slack, be gracious, or whatever you call it in the 21st century. But things are not as simple. Just because you're unconventional. Poor Einstein =(

Ergh, humans. Life gets harder at 21, and as you grow older.

A strange thought just crossed my mind. Why am I posting this anyway? Who's gonna read this?
Ain't going to be me in the next one year, probably. goodnight!

Saturday, July 04, 2009

Varsity Blues

Here I come, UKM!
Here I come, Philo!
Here I come, PERKEB!
Here I come, FSCC!
Here I come, Fakulti Kejuruteraan
Here I come, Juniors!

Just moved off campus to Philo. Staying off campus has it's pros and cons. But what I miss most is it's proximity. Transportation will be an issue now that I reside in Philo, 4.5km away from UKM. Life is at it's best. Life can only get better.

To think about it, I so often obtain such a biased image of life; a refraction of various occurrences.. So often hath circumstances in uni life, good and bad alike, shaped my perspective of campus life, and even life itself. This corrupted view of life is obtained by looking through the mortal, fallible lenses I have been looking through.

But just a glance at the greatness of God, through the lens of love and mercy just shatters those error-prone lenses. I need to turn my eyes upon Jesus this semester, and keep it there as long as I can with the Holy Spirit helping me.

As I walk through the path of life, viewing life via the kaleidoscope of God, a thick fog ahead makes no difference, for a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path is present. The darkness makes no difference, for the light of His love pierces through the darkest abysses.

And yet, it's always too easy just to say I want to walk through life this way.

So help me to keep my eyes upon You, LORD. I can't do it on my own. Let me be in the world but not of it. Help me to see things through Your eyes of love, Father, that are always upon me.
Semester 1, Year 2, Here I come!

Monday, June 01, 2009


I have nothing to give, what is not already Yours.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009


was yesterday.

Saturday, May 09, 2009


is giving Him glory when you don't feel like it

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Marked by Majesty

Oh well. He hasn't closed this particular chapter of my life yet... It will be nothing short of a beautiful chapter, resembling a timid caterpillar waiting to spread its soon to be mesmerizing wings.

GOD at every moment is writing a storybook called 'your life', which at the end of it all, will He say "I've created something amazing." We are the most amazing thing ever to have lived this planet, You and I. And it's all simply because He loves us.

Amaze me again LORD, I knew You always have.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Do not delay

What do I do LORD?
It's going to have been a year now. I know Your timing is perfect but, things are worse off than they should be. Are they, really? Should they?
Was it because I was unappreciative of whatever friendship we had left?
What did I do wrong? I did something wrong by not doing anything at all?
What's she trying to do? What really, do I expect to see?
I really have no idea. I don't want to try figuring out the facts anymore, and it's not like I have figured any at all to begin with. It's just so frustrating.
How much more patient must I be? How long more is my breakthrough in this area going to be delayed? Whatever needs to be done about this friendship, let it be done quickly, LORD. Sometimes it feels like I don't know how much more I can last, although I know You'll always keep me going. Is it just my heart that's full of unrest? that's so full of selfish pity?

What do I do LORD?
The emotions that come with the songs of praise have run dry.
Those songs don't seem to get through and renew me.
Instead, my thoughts just run everywhere. My focus has deviated.
Every lyric recited, every word sung again means little now.
I've lost this to rely on for my source of strength.

What do I do LORD?
There is trouble on every side, countless things demand my time.
Work, play, sleep, all too essential. Too essential to the point where You are dispensible. I'm so sorry. Can my circumstances now change, so that these things be rendered unimportant compared to being close to You?

What do I do LORD?
I'm short of life's breath
I'm sick and tired
I'm frustrated and confused
I'm not even sure what I want
I'm so lost and out of orientation
I'm dry and unfruitful
I'm dormant in my own shell
I'm in pain, agonizing pain.

What do I do LORD?
I run in the direction where I last saw You.
But I can't find You.
I know where I can find You,
But I can't find You.
I don't know how else to find You,
so why don't You come and find me.
I'm here LORD, do not delay.
And I'm who I am before You, I'm nobody else.
Take my messy soul, corrupted character, disorderly lifestyle, and damaged heart,
rescue it, fix it, heal it, and then circumcise it once again. It's Yours.
I'm Yours.

Holy Spirit. Do not delay. I'm holding on, and You'll come on time to my rescue.

This is my surrender

God, why LORD. Why, why, why. It did not turn out as I expected. Why, I thought it was over. After a long wait, is 'this' the progress that has been made? I know time heals things, but does time leave a scar too?

I want to see results. I want answers. I want this. I want that. I just am so confused LORD. I wish things could be the way it used to be before anything started out. But You didn't allow that wish to come to pass, or maybe not yet. I always want to control my surroundings, always wishing for it to go my way. And every time I control the situation, it spins out of control. How fallible are my plans! LORD, take control once again. I'll give everything back to You. Past present and future belong to You alone. I'm giving it all back to You.

You promise to do good to me,
You promise never to leave me,
You promise never to forsake me,

therefore in each of these promises I wait upon You, for You cannot go back on Your promises, for that will discredit You, that will question Your faithfulness. You are indeed punctual with all things. Forgive my unfaithfulness and distrust. Not a moment too early, not a moment too late is Your redemption. Just help me remember that with my heart, Holy Spirit. Praise You Jesus, Praise You.

Turn your eyes upon Jesus
Look full in His wonderful face
And the things of the earth
will grow strangely dim
in the light of His glory and grace

Thursday, April 16, 2009

True and Apparent Loneliness

Psalm 22:1
My God, my God, why hast Thou forsaken me?

We here behold the Saviour in the depth of His sorrows. No other place so well shows the griefs of Christ as Calvary, and no other moment at Calvary is so full of agony as that in which His cry rends the air-"My God, my God, why hast Thou forsaken me?" At this moment physical weakness was united with acute mental torture from the shame and ignominy through which He had to pass; and to make His grief culminate with emphasis, He suffered spiritual agony surpassing all expression, resulting from the departure of His Father's presence. This was the black midnight of His horror; then it was that He descended the abyss of suffering. No man can enter into the full meaning of these words. Some of us think at times that we could cry, "My God, my God, why hast Thou forsaken me?" There are seasons when the brightness of our Father's smile is eclipsed by clouds and darkness; but let us remember that God never does really forsake us. It is only a seeming forsaking with us, but in Christ's case it was a real forsaking. We grieve at a little withdrawal of our Father's love; but the real turning away of God's face from His Son, who shall calculate how deep the agony which it caused Him? In our case, our cry is often dictated by unbelief: in His case, it was the utterance of a dreadful fact, for God had really turned away from Him for a season. O thou poor, distressed soul, who once lived in the sunshine of God's face, but art now in darkness, remember that He has not really forsaken thee. God in the clouds is as much our God as when He shines forth in all the lustre of His grace; but since even the thought that He has forsaken us gives us agony, what must the woe of the Saviour have been when He exclaimed, "My God, my God, why hast Thou forsaken me?"

Charles Spurgeon

As I read this, apparent loneliness and the fear of being far away from God's presence all too quickly diminished; upon remembering the suffering of our dear Lord Jesus Christ on the wondrous cross which is a physical sign of the spiritual heritage we have in heaven. So often at times I felt hungry for His presence but felt as if I have not been filled. But this I know; in the midst of all the chaos, the confusion of not knowing His plans, and the loneliness which comes from a lack of my own faith, dims away and is replaced by the promise of God through Isaiah:

18 To whom then will you liken God?
Or what likeness will you compare to Him?
27 Why do you say, O Jacob,
And speak, O Israel:
“My way is hidden from the LORD,
And my just claim is passed over by my God”?
28 Have you not known?
Have you not heard?
The everlasting God, the LORD,
The Creator of the ends of the earth,
Neither faints nor is weary.
His understanding is unsearchable.
29 He gives power to the weak,
And to those who have no might He increases strength.
30 Even the youths shall faint and be weary,
And the young men shall utterly fall,
31 But those who wait on the LORD
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint.

Isaiah 40:18,27-31

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

How we express humans mathematically

Align CenterChoices are merely variables in the same parenthesis , together defining a function called character. Parameterise those choices wisely!!

Note: people usually parameterise it with respect to time. So make the best use of your time!

ƒ(choice 1, choice 2) = (choice1)² ± (choice2) ± constant = character..

Please study chapter six(or was it four) of your pure math in the STPM syllabus (functions of a variable) first before trying to grasp the depth of the above statement. HAHA

Saturday, April 04, 2009

Freedom is never free

Luke 15: 17"When he came to his senses, he said, 'How many of my father's hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! 18I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. 19I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men.' 20So he got up and went to his father.

That's it. I've had it. So sick of staying where I'm not supposed to be(I don't mean my house). I'm stagnant. Why do I allow myself to be bound by the things that You have already set me free from? I was bought for a 'no-such-thing-as-a-discount' price! It's time to shake off the things that shackle me. But how, GOD? I don't know what to do in the midst of all this confusion. My priorities are messed up. All I can ask is, 'Help GOD'..
And then you answer:

"You need to take action. Just wanting to remove the idols is not enough. I will give you the strength you need."

How true.

It's a time for idol burning..
a time for removing that which draws me away from God
a time for destroying that which makes me think higher of myself than I should
a time for destroying that which causes me to sin
a time for letting go
a time for restoration

What are my idols?
Computer gaming
Studies (rarely but still can be one at times)
Friendships (when I find my rest in friends instead of God)

Sorry LORD, for my rebellion, disobedience, idolatry and all the works. Where would I be without you. I have made no difference apart from You. All those have prevented from becoming who I should be. It's delayed the blessings of GOD long enough! Help me to destroy my idols and set me free from the chains I have bounded myself to once again, and by Your grace and the power of Your Holy Spirit alone will I be able to victorious. I believe in Your faithfulness. Amen

Monday, March 30, 2009

An Inspiration for my undergraduate thesis

Inspired Thesis Topic
Monkey powered turbines. Monkeys eat mostly from the waste in UKM, hence it's kind of like a waste-to-energy process.. Instead of causing so much trouble they might as well be put to some good. Start training one monkey and things get easier from there.

Monkey see, monkey do


  1. Monkey caught.
  2. Monkey trained.
  3. Monkey put through forced labor.
  4. Monkey eats food from rubbish dump.
  5. Monkey swings from turbine to turbine, in cycles(more monkeys generate more cycles)
  6. Weight of monkey pulls the turbine blades downwards.
  7. Inertia gets the next blade up to position.
  8. Trainer gets out his cane to motivate the monkeys
  9. Step 5 to 8 is repeated until the monkeys get tired and go to sleep
  10. Turbine in rotation generates current by virtue of an AC/DC motor.
  11. Rotary energy is converted to electricity. Power is distributed throughout UKM
  12. Everyone is happy =) (except for our less evolved creatures)

It's green energy! Well, more like brown.
It's free once you cover the initial cost
Higher 'security' in UKM.
It's fun to watch! Duh

Getting the monkeys to work punctually.
Monkey rights activists protest against unethical treatment of monkeys.. Like c'mon, it's just a bunch of monkeys
Risk the monkeys going on an employee boycott/riot.. After all, monkey see monkey do!

Thursday, March 26, 2009

More Than Knee Deep

God, I'm far from Your presence. I'm more than knee deep in a whole load of trouble. The waters are rising. I'm in a lot of trouble and can't turn anywhere. It's just a whole load of responsibilities. As of now, I'm at wits end when it comes to prioritising these responsibilities. I want to hear Your voice; what You have to say about my life.What do You have to say, Holy Spirit? What do I need to set straight? Am I backsliding? Is this what it's like? I'm confused! Am I hearing it, yet turning a deaf ear towards it?

Are You calling out to me, yet I cannot hear because of sin in my life? I need to know Your will, for if I don't know Your will I cannot obey it. If I cannot obey, I sin. If I sin, I cannot hear. And the cycle goes on. I need your flood of grace, more than knee-depth.

What do I do? (at this point I don't know, really)

Matthew 6:33 "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you."

(and then I hear from You. But I've 'forgotten' how to seek Your kingdom. GOD I'm so lost. I don't know what to ask for to get myself out of this hole. All I know is, Help Me LORD.)

Matthew 6:33 "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you."

Matthew 6:33 "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you."

Matthew 6:33 "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you."

Matthew 6:33 "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you."

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Fallen ON love..

I fell on love... in this post's context, love is and only is the toilet floor.


OKOK.. so the story is; Last Sunday, I woke up earlier than anticipated (my alarm was set to 6.30, but my mom got me up at 6.20) .. I hit the showers of course. I was back-up vocalist in FGA Serdang Community Center that morning, it was the opening day and also my first time back-up singing for a church... so it was rather unnerving..

- at this point you may or may not guess why I fell -

My alarm went off. So without my glasses on I went back to my room to turn it off in case my brother wakes up. UNPAID KINDNESS!
- at this point you may think I fell when I tried to get into my room. No. -

So anyway, I turned it off and came out at a rather moderate velocity. I fell. My chin knocked the edge of the floor tile, which was elevated above the toilet floor.. So embarassing. Good thing I wasn't at camp or UKM or something.

Wish I had a camera to take a photo of my first chin injury.
Nothing much apart from that really. Just:
Two bruises
Minor chest trauma resulting in cough
and probably a thousand other dead cells...

So I fallen on love.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Locations of Love

I can say, it is well. Well with my soul that He has made all things beautiful. Well with my soul that all things are in His time. Well with my soul that His living word endures forever..

Love is patient. Love is kind. Love is not self-seeking. Love is GOD.

And I sometimes wonder, why do I struggle so hard to find love in all the wrong places, when I know I have the one true source?
Why do I settle for second best sometimes? (I'm not only talking about relationships; it applies to everyday decisions)

Why is it so hard to love (obey) Jesus?

9"As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love.

at this point after posting, I find the title quite the acronym. LoL.

Sunday, March 08, 2009

This is what the LORD says -

Israel's King and Redeemer, the LORD almighty:

I am the first and I am the last;
apart from me there is no God.

Who then is like me? Let him proclaim it. Let him declare and lay out before me what has happened since I established my ancient people,
and what is yet to come--
yes, let him foretell what will come.

Amen! =)

Thursday, February 26, 2009

What's enough for me?

His Grace is enough for me. =)

Nothing seems to be enough, and only one thing fills; this one thing we can openly receive without a price, and yet we forget to welcome it into our lives.
Has His grace been a 'taken-for-granted' grace?
As for me, I pray not.

What's enough for ya?

Praise you, LORD because your grace is more than sufficient. for when I am weak, then I am strong. Your joy will be my strength.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009


Instantaneously, I'm at my faculty, having a thermodynamics class and blogging. this is going to be one long class =(

Monday, February 23, 2009

Firewood or Idol


Reading this particular passage reminds me of how I've sometimes put both material and non material blessings in the place where God rightly is..

Actually, well I was reading quite a bit on Isaiah where there's this portion that says our GOD is still a faithful GOD even after we've not made Him first. Not making him first is a sin, indeed. Isaiah goes on to carry God's message to correct Israel's folly and lack of fear, a very painful message.

Sometimes I really have relied on my material blessings to carry me through a problem, instead of looking to God. And I think that goes for anything; friends instead of GOD, music instead of GOD.

“ Thus says the LORD, the King of Israel,
And his Redeemer, the LORD of hosts:

‘ I am the First and I am the Last;
Besides Me there is no God.

7 And who can proclaim as I do?
Then let him declare it and set it in order for Me,
Since I appointed the ancient people.
And the things that are coming and shall come,
Let them show these to them.
8 Do not fear, nor be afraid;
Have I not told you from that time, and declared it?

9 Those who make an image, all of them are useless,
And their precious things shall not profit;
They are their own witnesses;
They neither see nor know, that they may be ashamed.
10 Who would form a god or mold an image
That profits him nothing?

13 The craftsman stretches out his rule,
He marks one out with chalk;
He fashions it with a plane,
He marks it out with the compass,
And makes it like the figure of a man,
According to the beauty of a man, that it may remain in the house.
14 He cuts down cedars for himself,
And takes the cypress and the oak;
He secures it for himself among the trees of the forest.
He plants a pine, and the rain nourishes it.
15 Then it shall be for a man to burn,
For he will take some of it and warm himself;
Yes, he kindles it and bakes bread;
Indeed he makes a god and worships it;
He makes it a carved image, and falls down to it.
16 He burns half of it in the fire;
With this half he eats meat;
He roasts a roast, and is satisfied.
He even warms himself and says,
“ Ah! I am warm,
I have seen the fire.”
17 And the rest of it he makes into a god,
His carved image.
He falls down before it and worships it,
Prays to it and says,
“ Deliver me, for you are my god!”
18 They do not know nor understand;
For He has shut their eyes, so that they cannot see,
And their hearts, so that they cannot understand.
19 And no one considers in his heart,
Nor is there knowledge nor understanding to say,
“ I have burned half of it in the fire,
Yes, I have also baked bread on its coals;
I have roasted meat and eaten it;
And shall I make the rest of it an abomination?
Shall I fall down before a block of wood?”
Isaiah 44

LORD, You called us to offer our bodies as living sacrifices, to give the best of our produce, yet I have not always brought you the best of everything in my life; my time, priority, studies..
I have often repayed your lovingkindess with sin nd rebellion pride.
Forgive me LORD, teach me and show me how to keep you first each moment.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

You are GOD

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.

As surely as the sun will rise, You're there. You're watching. You're teaching me to be still in the storm, to know that You alone are God.

It's always easy to say that I'll trust and obey you in all circumstances, but it's a whole different level to actually do likewise.

LORD, I'm studying and studying, and my spirit is not calm. Help me, LORD. Save me from my own folly to think that I can excel in my studies with my own ability. If I am weak now, make me more weak, that your grace might be more than sufficient for me, and that I cannot boast of myself, but boast of Your greatness.


Just finished my thermodynamics paper, that I have been studying for. Theoretically, I have no reason to be worried about my studies except that I'm relying on my own strength. Perhaps it's time to let go. Always having difficulty letting go of my studies to God. Maybe I think I can do a better job. Let's hope not.

I told GOD just some 15 hours ago(earlier portion of this post) that I want to be made weaker. Indeed I was. I felt like a complete nut during the paper. But somehow, I managed to get most of the questions done.

LORD, all in all, this week is a hectic week, but nothing compared to the blood you were sweating when you were facing your hour of destiny. Help me to learn from you and to trust and obey the Father just as you have done. I praise You.

Saturday, February 14, 2009


MK was a blast!
MK is just the beginning!
Let's go!

Thursday, February 12, 2009


It's what makes us who we are..

- Stephen Christian, Anberlin

Wednesday, February 11, 2009


I was just reading this particular psalm... so, well, share share time..

Psalm 78:37-39
(when the Israelites were in the wilderness, after witnessing God's miracles at the Red Sea and the miraculous splitting of the rocks and manna rain from heaven)

their hearts were not loyal to him,
they were not faithful to his covenant.
Yet he was merciful;
he forgave their iniquities(immorality) and did not destroy them.
Time after time he restrained his anger
and did not stir up his full wrath.
He remembered that they were but flesh,
a passing breeze that does not return.

I began to think of myself and the times I have not been faithful to a faithful God. And my heart has turned to make little idols for myself here and there whenever I disobey, whenever I choose to rely on my own ability than acknowledge His enabling power. whenever I become proud...
Yet he was merciful, indeed.. *phew*..

The final part of this passage, says that HE REMEMBERS how human we are, and how much we need His grace. It reflects us as mere breezes that does not return.. We don't remember a breeze right? Moving air? And still, we have our own way of blowing ourselves up, causing us to FORGET our GOD is all-powerful, not us..

How unfaithful we are..

LORD, thank you for your faithfulness that lasts throughout all generations, as said is in Your word. Show me how to be faithful. Remind me how infinitesimal I am, that I'm weak without You and strong with You. Praise Your name GOD, for You have stretched out the heavens and breathed out the stars, and yet still hold in the palm of Your hands.
[ Teach me your way, O LORD, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name - Psalm 86:11, of David ]

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Eternally temporary. Temporarily eternal.

He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep, to gain that which he cannot lose”

Jim Elliot

I was just thinking about how I'm supposed to get good grades and mark up my cgpa, with Malam Krismas drawing immensely close. So I wanted to open the textbooks to catch up when I felt drawn to perform my daily devotions. And I came upon these verses. Confirmation, I'd say.

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
2 Corinthians 4:16-18

"Naked I came from my mother's womb,
and naked I will depart.
The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away;
may the name of the LORD be praised."
Job 1:21

We live by faith, not by sight. We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the LORD.
2 Corinthians 5:7-8

If you're going through any tough siuation, remember that we are to live our lives here as mere strangers in reverent fear of our LORD. Our lives here are temporary. =)

Saturday, February 07, 2009

Pork Day 2009

Jeng jeng jeng! Yesterday our first ever PERKEB Pork Day!
We bought two decks of cards,and managed to play warlords and scumbags with 7 players.
Shortly thereafter, we went to 'Planet Kopitiam' for the card game.. spent 2 1/2 hours playing just that. Whoa. Revolution!!

Thanks Amanda, for graciously paying for the drinks..

Below is the heirarchy of the current kingdom:-

Republic of PORK
La Présidente - David
Vice president - Davin
Secrétair - Amanda
Royal Priest - Wan Sian
Royal Chariotéer(More like royal trotter) - Rachel
Psallette & Orchestre (Pig Choir and Orchestra) - Juanita
Commandant nous sécurité(Chief of Security) - Charis

Royal Jester
Royal Food Taster
Royal Princess
Heir to the Throne

Royal Assets:
Royal Scepter - BakKutTeh ladle
Royal Chalice - BakKutTeh bowl of stew
Royal Card Game - Warlords and Scumbags
Royal Sacrament - A piece of pork and its soup

Come and join this powerful monarchy, in its valiant conquest to search for the best pork in Kajang and Bangi. It's still unofficial, however (AJK PERKEB needs to confer about the matter first) I've got no right to declare anything just yet. But when it is official.. *grin*

Will they agree? Will the AJK adhere to their dietary ideals, or will they succumb to the haunting hallways of their bellies? Find out more, in the next edition of: PORK DAY..

Viva la Pork!

Thursday, February 05, 2009


David: It's been a while, LORD. What do I do next? Is it just my fleshly emotions toying around with me again? Is it time to move in?

GOD: Honor Me with the promise you'd made to Me and I will honor you in return.

David: *oh man tahan tahan* aiya why did I go make that promise. ok lor.

I promised GOD I'd commit the next 1 1/2 years to refrain from entering a relationship, to serve Him and wait for a sign at the end of it. Sometimes I wonder if I've made that commitment on a foolish premise. Either way, already promised, so no turning back.

Malam Muzikal Krismas 2009






Got this off Jeen's blog.. anyone could try this..

89 words

Go take the speed typing test

63 perkataan

Speed test

and Malay is obviously harder :S

Wednesday, February 04, 2009


O Lord my God, When I in awesome wonder,
Consider all the worlds Thy Hands have made;
I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder,
Thy power throughout the universe displayed.

Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art.
Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art!

When through the woods, and forest glades I wander,
And hear the birds sing sweetly in the trees.
When I look down, from lofty mountain grandeur
And see the brook, and feel the gentle breeze.

Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art.
Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art!

And when I think, that God, His Son not sparing;
Sent Him to die, I scarce can take it in;
That on the Cross, my burden gladly bearing,
He bled and died to take away my sin.

Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art.
Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art!

When Christ shall come, with shout of acclamation,
And take me home, what joy shall fill my heart.
Then I shall bow, in humble adoration,
And then proclaim: "My God, how great Thou art!"

Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art.
Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art!

Saturday, January 31, 2009

MK 2009

I just cant wait!!! =)

Sunday, January 25, 2009

John 15 - Study

The True Vine
1 “I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. 2 Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit. 3 You are already clean because of the word which I have spoken to you. 4 Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me.
5 “I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing. 6 If anyone does not abide in Me, he is cast out as a branch and is withered; and they gather them and throw them into the fire, and they are burned. 7 If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you. 8 By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit; so you will be My disciples. 9 “As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love. 10 If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love, just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love. 11 “These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full. 12 This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends. 14 You are My friends if you do whatever I command you. 15 No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you. 16 You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain, that whatever you ask the Father in My name He may give you. 17 These things I command you, that you love one another.

If we love God, we obey Him.
And we obey whom we fear. Perfect love casts out all fear(all kinds of fear except the fearing God) So.

If we fear man, we love ourselves(imperfect love), for we worry of what man thinks of us.
If we fear God, we love God(perfect agape love), for we worry if we are giving Him the respect He deserves.
If we love our lives, we will lose it.
If we hate it, we will save it.

Too many people want agape love but don't do anything to obtain it. Because they fear man's opinion rather than God Himself. However, let us Christians start loving God by obeying Him. We can't obey Him unless we fear Him, so let's start fearing Him. We can't fear Him when we treat as common the things God regards holy. So let's fear Him by living holy lives. This is done by obeying His voice when He calls for our obedience. Pray for opportunities to obey Him.

And let's remain faithful to God.
We can't remain faithful to God unless we lose our lives for Him, because once we lose our lives for Him, we live only to please Him. Wanting to lose our lives is not enough. We've got to actually lose it.Obedience ignites our love engine, but faithfulness is what keeps us going. Will we be good and faithful servants of the LORD?

Love, Godly fear, Obedience, and Faith are not mutually exclusive events.
They are intertwined to determine our relationship with God.
Time to give up loving myself.
Time to love God.
Time to love others.

Friday, January 23, 2009


To the people that have helped me be me again =)

Thursday, January 22, 2009

2008 - 2009

Honestly, at this point, I don't feel inspired to write anything.. All I can feel is the garlic cheese naan slowly dissipating within the abyss of my digestive system.. It's kind of late to begin blogging about entering into a new year. Anyway,I was at PERKEB meeting a few hours ago, and Ps Reuben was sharing about letting go of the past.

Letting go of the past huh.
Success and failure have one thing in common, they are events of the past. What's important is who I am now. If I were to die today, what would the world matter to me? Nothing, I guess, since I'd be in heaven.. I've been through my fair share of peaks and troughs (if you could imagine a sinusoidal transverse wave pattern in 2D).. The peaks and troughs have been of different magnitudes, different intensities, different frequencies..

Okay la layman terms: A rollercoaster ride.
I have changed a lot. My priorities have transformed, cultured some good habits and bad ones too.. Looking back on a whole year, I did not come up with a 'Things I want to achieve by the end of 2008' list.. However,

There are things I wish I did that I did not do,
There are things I did that I wish I did not do.

In retrospect of 2008, there is one fact that has been more real to me in 2008 than any year in my life, one fact that I don't have to wish for to be true, one fact that I am fully assured of;


For the LORD is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations. Psalm 100:5

What more could I ask for? I have JESUS =)

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. 1 Peter 1:3-5

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Efficiency vs waste

Today was productive. Really enjoyed catching up with my mom, Dan, Shu Xian, Chee Liang, Kristy, Josh F, and Rebecca... Lets hope it'll be productive tomorrow. =)

17 Jan (today)
10.00am - breakfast with mom
11.00am - local youth prayer gathering, PPBC
4.00am - youth church
7.30pm - dinner with friends who returned from the land down under..
11.59pm - Z z Z catching

18 Jan (tomorrow)
6.30am - travel back to UKM =)
9.00am - choir annual dinner-venue hunting
1.00pm - lab prep reading, vector calculus work
6.30pm - choir night committee meeting
7.30pm - Malam Krismas meeting
11.59pm - mamak

19 Jan (monday)
8am - classes begin.. boohoo

Now that I've laid out my short term schedule, I had better stick to it. Yawn

Monday, January 12, 2009

Misi Orang Asli - Kg Serigala


Pengalaman di MOA.....

MOA kali ini merupakan 'mission trip' saya yang pertama. Saya terhutang budi atas kemesraan orang asli di Kg Serigala. Mereka bukan sahaja sudi meluangkan masa dengan kami, malah memasak untuk kami pada suatu ketika. Walau bagaimanapun, saya paling bersyukur atas tanganNya di atas kehidupan mereka, walaupun mereka tidak diberkati dari segi kebendaan seperti kami di bandar, dan UKM. Saya pun terfikir kenapa saya selalu merungut dan rasa tidak puas hati walaupun Allah telah memberkati saya dari segi kebendaan... Tuhan pernah mengatakan kepada seorang pengkhutbah dalam satu 'DVD sermon' yang telah saya tontoni, "merungut umpama mengatakan kepada Tuhan: Tuhan saya lebih tahu apa yang penting dalam hidup saya berbanding dengan kamu, saya lebih memahami situasi saya berbanding kamu. Kamu seharusnya melakukan begini, begitu..." Saya sedar dan teringat akan diri sendiri yang sering merungut, biar di mulut mahupun di hati.

Genap satu bulan selepas MOA, saya tidak tahu jika cara hidup saya berubah baik. Sebenarnya, pilihan menyertai MOA untuk tujuan mengubah hidup sendiri amat baik, namun saya percaya bahawa perubahan tidak berlaku selepas satu malam.
Perubahan adalah hasil daripada pilihan manusia untuk mentaati dan mematuhi seruan Tuhan ataupun tidak, dalam jangka masa yang panjang. Walaubagaimanapun, persepsi saya terhadap golongan orang asli telah berubah sekaligus.

Pergilah ke MOA. Biar satu kali pun, untuk pengalamannya. Pergilah ke MOA lagi(jika anda pernah pergi), sebagai cara menyembah Tuhan, sebagai satu persembahan kepadaNya. Berikanlah masa, kewangan, dan daya usaha anda, dan sediakan diri anda untuk rencanaNya melalui MOA. Pemberian ini diumpamakan sebagai 'serpihan yang amat kecil' berbanding pemberian Tuhan melalui kematian Yesus demi kita. Dengan segala pemberian Allah atas kasih karuniaNya, kita sepatutnya berikan yang terbaik kepada Tuhan Bapa di syurga.

"....supaya kamu mempersembahkan tubuhmu sebagai persembahan yang hidup, yang kudus dan yang berkenan kepada Allah: itu adalah ibadahmu yang jati." - Roma 12:1

Sekiranya kita sentiasa sibuk dengan pekerjaan atau pelajaran dan tiada masa melayaniNya (misalnya MOA), saya percaya bahawa kita harus mempertimbangkan prioriti-prioriti diri. Mementingkan pelajaran bukanlah salah, namun lebih mementingkan pelajaran daripada Allah jelas salah. Ia dipanggil keberhalaan(idolatry).

Pendek kata, jika kamu tahu bahawa Roh Kudus inginkan kamu menyertai MOA, jangan teragak-agak lagi! (tapi pergilah dengan motif-motif yang betul)

Apa yang mampu kita berikan kepada Tuhan? Tiada apapun. Semua yang kita ada adalah hasil kasih karuniaNya. Puji Tuhan!

Friday, January 09, 2009

Dean's List, or God's?

Although a harsh reality, most Christian students have to choose whose shortlist they wanna be on.

Dean's list
22 credit hours of lecture.
4 tutorials for all 4 subjects,
Laboratory sessions for 3 subjects,
and 2 projects.
Ethnic relations
Classical music.
Weekly choir practices... ahh!!!

God's list
MK'09 -> The Malam Muzikal Krismas production, which is only a month away.. Only yesterday, we changed our venue, creating a whole new list of pros and cons... A whole new proposal has to be sent, and major readjustments to be made, paperwork, discussions, etc. HOW LA HOW. Help, Holy Spirit. SO MUCH WORK TO BE DONE...
MYPG(should I involve myself in this work?)

LORD, help. What do I do? I need wisdom and lots more. We had a time of waiting upon the LORD at the prayer meeting outside the uni hall this afternoon.. Ben shared two verses with Jyan and I:

Matthew 6:31-33

So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

THEREFORE, our GOD is still GOD.
Of whom shall I fear?
God, or the Dean?

Sunday, January 04, 2009

Malaysian Youth Prayer Gathering, Kuantan

If you are looking for something inspiring, look for 200 young people from all corners of the peninsular just meeting up to pray.MYPG Kuantan was just awe-inspiring. It's so awe-inspiring that I'll just cut to the chase. We had prayer warriors from Alor Setar, Kulim, Kluang, Kuantan, and the KL-PJ area. Each city had their own Local Youth Prayer Gathering(LYPG). Now it's going inter-state. We're gearing for the next MYPG to be held in the KL-PJ region, aimed to unite young people just to meet and pray for our nation. Visions revealed, work is being done.

The goal of LYPG and MYPG??

100'000 Malaysian young people on fire for Jesus, united and engaged in prayer.

LYPG's and the MYPG are merely events that symbolise the revival to come. They both are part and parcel of the work our awesome God is doing for our nation's people. The whole highlight about MYPG Kuantan wasn't the different cities' representatives coming to pray together. We have that all the time. Rather, it is the fact that God is using prayer as the CATALYST FOR REVIVAL.

And my breakthrough came at a 6am prayer we had on that cold Saturday dawn, only after a mere 2 hrs of sleep. Some people came for the 6am prayer to prepare before the event began at 8am. There were reports of spiritual attacks on the organising committee. Spiritual oppression only proves that Satan is afraid. And he is doing everything in his power to prevent people praying. But God did not let that happen. NO He did not. We confessed our sins publicly at the 6am prayer gathering. and broke the power of sin over each person's life there that morning. Talk about chains loosened? That was chains broken

We had corporate repentance for the same sins later that morning, which were:
1. Sins of sexual immorality and lust
2. Pride
3. Rebellion.

As for me, I am a sinner in all those areas. And confession of sin holds great power.
So here goes,

Yes I watch pornography.
Yes I masturbate.
Yes I look at women lustfully.
Yes I act and think higher of myself than I should.
Yes I have a rebellious attitude.

Yes I am a weak person, and that's who I am. But also, I am His child, forgiven.
It was difficult to confess it back then, it's hard to confess it now. As I was confessing, I knew I would disappoint so many people. But I figured I'd rather disappoint people then disappoint God if I disobeyed His call to repentance and confession.

I shared this particular Bible verse at the 6am prayer session at MYPG:

1 John 1:8-10
If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives.

That word spoke so true for me, and for the rest there, at that time. As we repented, of sexual sin, of pride, and of rebellion, I just knew that His forgiveness just took the heavy yoke of sin off my shoulder, and replacing it with a robe of righteousness. That knowledge is a resounding of His word in Romans 6:18 -> You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness.

It's true joy to be a slave to righteousness. It does not just mean 'walking right with God'. It also means 'being bound and living with no choice other than to obey Him'. Of course, you can still disobey God, but it should be every Christian's goal to be bound to living righteous lives. Anyway, we all need to come humbly before Him, and repent, and give Him the glory He deserves. I've become so convicted about so many matters. Matters of giving Him the firstfruits of my time, sacrifice, and obedience. This particular sentence struck me as Pas Kenneth Chin was sharing:

Obedience is better than sacrifice. Sacrifice is giving God what I want to give. Obedience is giving God what He wants me to give. And most of the time I believe, He wants me to give up my pride so that I can willingly obey Him.

Yvonne went on stage to give this verse:

2 Chronicles 7:14
If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.

LORD, thank you for planning out the event so I could be there. Thank You for the opportunity to repent. Enlighten my spiritual senses even more so that I may know You, and Your plans better. Help me to walk in obedience and faith as I live for Your glory and kingdom. Keep reminding me to repent at anytime I set an idol for myself, and at anytime I take the glory that You deserve. Everything belongs to You, and is for You. Not to me, but to Your name, be all glory.

Thursday, January 01, 2009

A New < >

Emotions: New year only mah.
Regrets: God was not first everyday of my life.
Resolutions achieved: I never made new year resolutions before.. resolutions come anytime in the year, as I feel like it.
Resolutions made: Stop computer games altogether.

Things I have not done since last year:

1. Piss.
2. Eaten Mamak food.
3. Made a phone call.
4. Sat on a bus
5. Have dinner

Aha. Well, with all the fruitless talk behind,

Looking on the past year, it's only natural to be thankful of what God has done for me.
But last year was last year. Last year will never be this year, and neither will this year be the one after. So what makes this new year so special?

Right now, from a narrow PointOfView, a 'year' merely represents 365 ¼ days, or 8766 hours.. a mere time frame, a chrono-jargon. So a new year somehow doesn't mean much to me.
I never really understood why people relish the thought of a new year.
Maybe it's a career bonus? Promotion? Who knows? Sure, it's another year closer to being deceased. Sure, it's yet another study semester that I have to face.

So, to me, what's so significant about this year?
Aiya, so pessimistic lar, but nothing's special about this year.

Hmm. Our LORD invented time itself, and since we live within the boundaries of time, we're so limited. We could always define a year as 300 days, or a minute as 25 seconds.Just like how the alphabet was created. 'A' could have been '♠'..

But I know there's something more special than just a new year.
I think the most special thing I will ever experience is His love. No time-frame is going to determine whether His love for us increases or decreases. A new year does not trigger whether or not his compassion for us have dropped one bit.

So maybe I won't celebrate a new year. I'll celebrate every new second. I'll celebrate every new minute, every new hour, every moment... every (insert time frame here). I won't celebrate a new year because it's a new year. I'll celebrate a new year because I'm celebrating His continuous, limitless love.

Why not celebrate God's love with unending praise unto Him?
Is it not so, that only unending praise will fit His unending love that we experience every (insert time frame here) .

Hebrews 13:8 - Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.

When I was not faithful, you were faithful.
When my love for You has dulled, Your love for us has never changed.
Frail as I am, You never look down on me. Instead, You love me enough to know me so intimately, every sub-atomic particle.

So, therefore, let every sub-atomic particle within me celebrate His infinite, unending love for me!

Praise, people, PRAISE!