MALAYSIAN YOUTH PRAYER GATHERING

8pm - Jan 2nd to 5pm - Jan 3rd


Seems that the leaders' retreat is within the same period. hmm..

BUT I CAN'T WAIT TO GO! =)

Three Amazing Songs

Three songs have spoken to me the most for as long as I have been alive:

Jesus love me this I know
For the Bible tells me so
Little ones to Him belong
They are weak but He is strong.

- I just realized the term 'little ones' might refer not to kids but to us humans, as minute as we are, we are weak but the infinite God is all-powerful.

I have decided to follow Jesus(x3)
no turning back, no turning back
No one go with me, still I will follow(x3)
no turning back, no turning back
The cross before me, the world behind me(x3)
no turning back, no turning back

- This song reminds me that I have no other option but to live for Jesus, for everything else does not seem to satisfy. Nothing in my past or future will make sense without Jesus in the picture.

What can wash away my sins
Nothing but the blood of Jesus
What can make me whole again
Nothing but the blood of Jesus
Oh precious is the flow, that makes us white as snow
No other fount I know,
Nothing but the blood of Jesus

- No human effort will be able to reconcile me with the Father, only the ultimate sacrifice will suffice for the ultimate sinner, me, by ultimate grace through faith. Indeed only Jesus saves.


Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. John 14:6

Wanting and Needing

God, I wanted You.
But now, I need You.

Forgive me LORD, because I wanted You, and made You an option.
Help me LORD, to make you fundamental in my life, my only necessity.

Painkillers

A painful past, and a present pain.
LORD. What shall I do with it? I want to move on.
How do I start anew, when I can't leave the past behind?


Some time ago, I bought some paracetamol(painkillers) and wrapped them as christmas presents for everyone.
As I know it, painkillers do nothing to remove the source of the pain, but does well to remove the sensation itself. Nonetheless, it offers relief somewhat.

I remember the time I had a faith-testing toothache during my first semester exam in my first year in UKM. And a very faith-testing toothache it was, when there's a limit to daily dosage ( 8 pills a day ).. And when the painkiller supply was depleted, I had to bear the pain until I visited the local orthodontist.

all I could do was pray..

Analogous to emotional pain, sometimes we take all kinds of 'painkillers'. Elements that seem capable of alleviating the pain. Comfort in friendship and relationships, keeping oneself busy, music, food, things that don't seem to satisfy. For a temporary duration these elements do seem to alleviate the pain.. But when it comes back again and we have exhausted all the 'painkillers', we become one who's at wits end, spirits end, emotions end.

and all we could do was pray.

As painkillers don't remove the cause of the pain,
earthly elements do not eliminate the cause of your emotional hurts.

All you can do is pray.

And in His grace, He WILL carry you through, and He's always on time to save the day. He never goes back on His promises. His will for you is perfectly planned and wonderfully crafted.
Trust in Him, for those that trust in Him are indeed like Mount Zion, which cannot be shaken.

Phil 4:6-7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus

Mukjizat itu Nyata

Tak terbatas kuasaMu Tuhan
Semua telah Kau lakukan
Apa yang kelihatan mustahil bagiku
Itu sangat mungkin bagiMu:
Di saat ku tak berdaya
KasihMu yang sempurna
Ketika aku percaya
Mukjizat itu nyata
Bukan kerna kekuatan
Tapi RohMu, ya Tuhan
Ketika aku percaya
Mukjizat itu nyata

Unbounded is Your power, Lord
All things You have accomplished
Those things which appear to be impossible to me
They are very possible for You
The very second i have no strength
It's your love that is perfect
The moment i believe
The miracle is real
Not by might, nor by power
but by Your Spirit, oh God
The moment i believe
The miracle is real



Note: God does not necessarily give you a miracle just because we 'believe'.. It also has to be in line with His divine, perfect will for your life. Of course, He will give you what you ask for if you keep insisting although it's not God's best for you, but He let's you have it because He is a God who created us with free will. But be careful what you ask for. =)


Joyeux Noel and a Happy 2009 to all of You.

Jesus loves you this season, and forevermore. Will we do the same for others?

Redirection

Had my redirection day today. Or rather, redirection night.
It's been an eventful year, the year with the most ups and downs yet.
I decided and told God only 24 hours ago that I'd spend the entire day cleaning up my room, sorting out stuff, reviewing, and refocusing.

And I did not carry out my decision. I procrastinated and procrastinated and procrastinated and procrastinated....Until God decided to stop waiting for me to stop procrastinating, to step in and start redirecting my life for me.

Basically, this was what happened:
I procrastinated. Hunched in front of the PC all day, I couldn't care less about lifting a neuron. Yes, unhealthy. I admit, I am hooked to PC games. Idolatry, sigh. So I didn't properly fulfill the errands given to me by mom in the morning.. So I was told off (plus all the emotional turmoil, I'll spare the details) .. What happened next is pretty embarassing for me.
Anyway there are tears and snot all over my T-shirt now, so you can guess. I wanted to argue but I didn't have any voice left(sheesh).


So my life was in a mess, and now God has graciously brought it back on track.
I thank him for His forgiveness, so much. When I was getting scolded, I couldn't say I was sorry. I couldn't figure out why I couldn't utter 'sorry'... maybe I was afraid of what my mom would say after that, maybe I was afraid I wouldn't mean my sorry.. And then I came before Him, with my mess, confessing my messy life ever since I took control of it, and suddenly I realise the reason behind my inability to apologise.

It was because I hadn't said sorry to God before then. And I realise that I wasn't hurting my mom as much as I was hurting God, considering how many of my daily devotions I missed. I guess I was pretty much a spiritually backslidden Christian.


Thank You LORD, for Your faithfulness.
- when I was unfaithful -
Thank You LORD, for Your grace and mercy.
- when I was selfish -
Thank You LORD, for redirecting my life.
- when I mess up everytime -



I sang the following stanzas during the whole ordeal:

Amazing Grace how sweet the sound
that saved a wretch like me
I was once lost but now am found
Was blind but now I see

Create in me a clean heart, O God,
And renew a right spirit within me.
Cast me not away from the presence O Lord
And take not thy Holy Spirit from me
Restore unto me the joy of life's salvation
And renew a right spirit within me

We fall down we lay our crowns
at the feet of Jesus
The greatness of His mercy and love
at the feet of Jesus
We cry holy, holy, holy
is the Lamb

1 John 1:9 - Jika kita mengaku dosa kita, maka Ia adalah setia dan adil, sehingga Ia akan mengampuni segala dosa kita dan menyucikan dari segala kejahatan.


His promises are absolute.
His promises are kept.
His promises are always on time.

JanjiMu Seperti Fajar

ketika ku hadapi kehidupan ini
jalan mana yg harus kupilih
ku tahu ku tak mampu
ku tahu ku tak sanggup
hanya kau Tuhan tempat jawapanku

ku pun tahu ku tak pernah sendiri
selama engkau Allah yg menggendongku
tanganMu membelaiku
cintaMu memuaskanku
kau mengangkatku ke tempat yg tinggi

janjiMu seperti fajar pagi hari
dan tiada pernah terlambat bersinar
cintamu seperti sungai yg mengalir
dan ku tahu betapa dalam kasihMu

Where does this go?

What do you see, beyond the darkness?
I don't know.
Where does this road go?
I don't know.
So why are you going down this desolate road if you don't know where it leads?
GOD knows where it leads. I'm just driving the car. He's giving me directions, see?
No.
Me neither.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. Prov 3:5

PraisE

Where can I go, everywhere I turn, I find no peace, no rest, no salvation?
My enemies come upon me on all sides, I have nowhere to run. Except upwards.


And then I look to You, high and lifted up, dwelling in the praises of Your renown.
And then I realise there's no place else I'd rather be then right there amongst them.
And then I decide to shut those troubled thoughts, open my heart, unseal my lips.
And then I lift my hands, amidst all of the confusion, the struggle, the pain.

And then You look to me from above, with mercy and love.
And then You tell me there's no place You'd rather have me be, than with You.
And then You remind me to wait, and keep looking to You.
And then You stretch forth Your mighty hand to lift me out of my circumstance.



Praise: Live it! It's powerful, it works, and it's for you and me!

IdentitY

Only when you realise who you aren't, will you realise who you can be because of someone else. And that someone else is GOD.


Who are you today? Are you playing a little pretending game with others, even yourself, even God? Who will you fool? Find yourself today, but look for yourself in the right place. Look for yourself in Him, in His word.

Woohoo... I learned something new.

WELL, actually, I learned that ascii stands for the
American Standard Code
for Information Interchange
     __          _    __
___/ /__ __  __(_)__/ /
/ _  / _ `/ |/ / / _  /
\_,_/\_,_/|___/_/\_,_/

and this is what it can do for you..
cool huh?

Who am I?

I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapour in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, you catch me when I'm falling,
And you've told me who I am.
I am yours.
------------------------------------------Casting Crowns---

Where are you finding your identity today?

What determines the sculpture of you?

Who defines you?

Is your life concentric around one person?

Remembering that we are His, can be a struggle at times. How frail we humans are.
Yet, from our frailty, we see His grace more and more.
Remember that we belong to Him =) God Bless You today.

Psalm 139:17-18
How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.

Donto-Dialogue

Here's a peek review of my MSN conversation with Jeen just moments ago.

Edited of course:

Hock Jeen says:
hey, ur tooth kena infection ar?
KinemenematicS! says:
hey. yeah.
KinemenematicS! says:
hurt like mad
Hock Jeen says:
see lar tak jaga gigi
Hock Jeen says:
eat too much sugar n all
Hock Jeen says:
so wat caused it?
KinemenematicS! says:
u just said its too much sugar
KinemenematicS! says:
why did u ask again? ahaha
Hock Jeen says:
haha
Hock Jeen says:
really ar?
Hock Jeen says:
was crappin jus now
KinemenematicS! says:
the dentist is wondering what might've caused the infection
KinemenematicS! says:
i have no holes or anything
KinemenematicS! says:
it was so much pus
KinemenematicS! says:
until my whole jaw ached
Hock Jeen says:
in ur tooth or gum?
KinemenematicS! says:
it was in my tooth
Hock Jeen says:
inside?
KinemenematicS! says:
yeah
Hock Jeen says:
never seen or heard about it before
KinemenematicS! says:
the pus is stored through one's blood vessel
KinemenematicS! says:
which passes into one's teeth
(OR SO I Ass-U-Me)
Hock Jeen says:
oh ok
Hock Jeen says:
n how did d dentist make tat incision?
(it's not an incision it's a drilling, HJ) =)
Hock Jeen says:
in your tooth?
KinemenematicS! says:
yeah
KinemenematicS! says:
he took 4 x rays i think
Hock Jeen says:
wah
KinemenematicS! says:
couldn't find out what was wrong until the 3rd one
Hock Jeen says:
happiness
KinemenematicS! says:
4th was a whole mouth x-ray
KinemenematicS! says:
sadness.. $ flowed out
Hock Jeen says:
how much?
KinemenematicS! says:
he tested my prominent tooth
Hock Jeen says:
should be thankful your's is in ringgit
KinemenematicS! says:
Ahaha
KinemenematicS! says:
10% off cause friend's dad's clinic
KinemenematicS! says:
i think in total 700-800
Hock Jeen says:
woooo
KinemenematicS! says:
gonna make a dental appointment at UKM for my crowning
KinemenematicS! says:
ahaha save cash... free....
KinemenematicS! says:
Doc drilled a hole right into my tooth
KinemenematicS! says:
and i didnt feel one thing
Hock Jeen says:
haha
Hock Jeen says:
no choice wert
Hock Jeen says:
haf to drain it
KinemenematicS! says:
but when i knocked on it, from the outside, it hurts like crap
KinemenematicS! says:
the nerve was dead... pumped electric current, and did a cold test
KinemenematicS! says:
no reaction at all
Hock Jeen says:
haha
Hock Jeen says:
pumped current
KinemenematicS! says:
at least i didn't lose teeth
KinemenematicS! says:
th*
KinemenematicS! says:
he went max current
Hock Jeen says:
haha
Hock Jeen says:
happening man ur situation
KinemenematicS! says:
thank god, now i can eat ...phew
KinemenematicS! says:
i was freaking out already
KinemenematicS! says:
having my math paper with the pain at that time

END

...an accurate depiction of my pain..


..what might have happened if God isn't providing for you...


..But through it all, you'll smile deep inside,
remembering that everything good comes from God and God alone..


Praise You Jesus!

Die-scipline

"owwww..... " David wails, his echoes resounding in the hallway...

It really hurts. UKM has a dentist, which of course is booked for the next 6 months.. =S.

25'000 students and 1 dentist, what do you expect?! =)
Gonna try to make an appointment at Aaron's parents' dental clinic.

Sure hope my tooth/gum-ache ain't going to interrupt my studies. Math paper on Monday!


I once told God, "Teach me self-control, because I can't learn it on my own". This is probably a result. With this toothache, I cut down alot on my syndrome's symptoms such as.. well, there are too many to describe at this moment. Not to mention other bad habits as well. But discipline from God is harsh! Gotta be careful what we ask God for. ESPECIALLY when it comes to disciplining us.

God's discipline may or may not be easy on you, but you JUST KNOW you're going to walk out of his 'discipline room' CHANGED. I mean, it's God Almighty we're talking about! OF COURSE his discipline is going to make you a better person.

LORD, teach me how to persevere in this time of teaching, to endure and still keep my eyes open to what you want me to learn. I know you won't let me handle stuff beyond what I can handle. That's why I am always confident I'll walk out of all my tough situations a better person.


PRAISE You in ALL SITUATIONS.

Promises.

Manusia berjanji tetapi juga mengingkari, Tuhan berjanji tetapi selalu menepatinya. Biarlah kita terus memegang janji Tuhan walaupun seakan-akan janji itu tidak datang, tetapi percayalah bahwa suatu hari kelak semua janji Tuhan akan digenapi.

3:29AM

Aih. Another EARLY morning.

Slept at 11:49.
Woke up at 2:49.
GOD why just three hours of sleep, again?????

Obviously, I'm blogging again. And, staying at Philoxenia simultaneously. The rest in Philo went out for KFC. When I got up at 2:49, I thought I locked the door from the inside, thereby locking HocMun and Adris out by accident. Felt horrible. But since they're at KFC and didn't try to enter the room, PHEW! =)


Of all the things I miss most,

Beaches...


School...


CF...


Pork...


PERKEB....


My mom....
____________________________


---NO CAMEO---



DISAPPOINTED? SHUCKS!

____________________________

I miss Him the most. Don't you?

Remember, He misses YOU the most!

He will Hold you Together

Colossians 1:15-18

He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation.
For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible,
whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities;
all things were created by him and for him.
He is before all things,
and in him all things hold together.



God keeps His word, He'll hold you together. Forever =)

4:16AM

4:16AM.

It's early. Really early. Must have been yesterday evening's coffee, lights or temperature that woke me up so early.And put me to bed so late.

Sigh. What can I do? I'll just blog till I get crappy and then go to bed (you'll be able to tell when, I think).

I was s'pposed to be up at 7am and taking a bus to Hentian Kajang to get to a friend's place for a ride to a church. Sunday Service, actually, as I have already missed evening service back home yesterday night. This was my first full week away from home in UKM. Yeah yeah, so pampered. Aha. What. Home's always where the heart is. Miss my mommy.

Listening to Blue Tree right now. Blue Tree's the Irish band from which the song 'God of this city' was originally written. Right now, it's an amazing hymn playing. [Hums along...]



..........When I survey the wondrous cross
....................On which the Prince of Glory died
......................My richest gain I count but loss
.............And pour contempt on all my pride
.............................................................................................
...........Forgetting not that I should boast
...................save in the death of Christ my LORD
..........................................All the big things that charm me most
....................................I sacrifice them to His blood
..............................................................................
..................................See from His head, His hands, his feet
................Sorrow and love, flow mingled down
...................did ever such love and sorrow meet
...............................or thorns compose so rich a crown
..........................................................................................................
................................Were the whole realm of nature mine
.........................that were an offering far too small
........................................Love so amazing, so divine
.............Demands my soul, my life, my all
.............................



4:32AM.
I'm currently talking to Jia Yi, who's over at England studying medicine.. Say's she misses mamak food. Okay, so maybe telling her I have it everyday wasn't such a good idea. Was it?
Just got a reply. She's skipping dinner for the library. Whoa.


ANYWAY.

Let's discuss UKM.
Come to think about it. I don't regret being here, not one single bit.
God's always got His hand on me, and it's as if I could literally envision Him nurturing me, allowing 'vector' circumstances(circumstances of different magnitudes and directions) to happen just so I could be here. I'm beginning to discover a new purpose in being here.

Two events that really directed me here:
1. Cellphone ringing during a JPA interview in which I did well. TWICE!
2. Forgetting to send a reply to NUS on time. NUS isn't an easy university to enter.

To do the two things above would be foolish of me, one could describe it.
I describe it as an amazingly divine work of art.

Being here, I look back at life(aiyer, so old already...) and see so many beautiful chapters being written about me by God's own hands. Who am I, that He should even bother planning my life for me. The God who exists outside of time, who can bend time, loves me. I mean, c'mon. Talk practical. Why bother, really?

Now that you can't find a solid logical reason, then it's time to stop reasoning God. He's beyond reasoning. No I don't mean He's out of control. But if you take it literally, God is out of our control. Ahaha. Oh no, crappy-talk-phase is beginning.




4:53AM. Currently listening to: To Know Your Name-Hillsongs United

Hmm...

My mind is blank. And my fingers are about to fire blanks. Time to sleep. I hope. Good-dusk. =)

Precious Presence

The Psalms in bite size
Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me,
for in you my soul takes refuge,
I will take refuge in the shadow of Your wings until the disaster has passed.
I cry out to the God Most High, to God, who fulfills His purpose for me.
God sends his love and faithfulness.
I will praise you, O Lord, among the nations;
I will sing of you among the peoples.
For great is your love, reaching to the skies
O my Strength, I watch for you;
you O God, are my fortress, my loving God.
For you have been my hope, O Sovereign LORD,
my confidence since youth.
But may all who seek you rejoice and be glad in you
Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter,
you will restore my life again;
from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.

Give thanks with a grateful heart,
Give thanks to the Holy One,
Give thanks, because He's given
Jesus Christ His Son,

And now let the weak say I am strong,
let the poor say I am rich,
because of what the Lord has done for me.
Give thanks.

Thank You, God, for Your promises, your deeds, and your faithfulness from before my birth till all eternity.

Jesus, Your name be lifted high.

God is Good.

"Naked I came from my mother's womb,
and naked I will depart.

The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away;
may the name of the LORD be praised."

In all this, Job did not sin by charging God with wrongdoing.
--THE LIFE OF JOB IN DECLINE-- Job 1.


Are we feeling confused? Overwhelmed? Is there a burden we just wish we didn't have to carry, or that we picked up at some point of your life, wishing we didn't?
Remember the words of Job; He has lost everything. First his livestock, plantations. And then his very own flesh and blood. And he lost all of them. He didn't have answers. God didn't tell him why he was put in that loss.
But we don't always need to know the answers. We just need to cling on to God's promise, that He'll see us through every situation and one day we'll look back and see what a beautiful chapter it was that God has written for our lives, provided we focus on Him of course. God doesn't promise rosy circumstances most of the time. But He did promise we'll walk through it.




God promised me what is good. And He doesn't go back on His promises. Maybe I am not in a 'good' situation right now. Well that's me defining what's good, not God Himself. What I am going through is INDEED good. In His eyes.

"For His ways are higher than our ways, and His thoughts than our thoughts" Isaiah 55:9

However 'good' the situation we are in, we're going to get through it anyway. But it's the process of going through it is more important. What are we doing in this process? Praising God, or blaming Him?

Job didn't charge God for wrongdoing. Imagine that. He lost everything, and didn't blame God. In fact he praised Him. Would we?

How great is our God, exactly?

Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
the LORD is the everlasting God.
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.

He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall;

But those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

Isaiah 40:28 -31

Joy! The Real Deal!

Can you hear it? Do you sense it?

Can you hear it? That's heaven singing:

"Glory to the LORD Almighty!"

Rejoice! He formed us, He redeemed us, He calls us! He has set us FREE!
Our circumstances are for His glory.
Our pains are for His glory.
Our successes are for His glory.
Our freedom is for His glory.
Our past is for His glory.
Our present is for His glory.
Our future is for His glory.
We are for His glory.
Creation is for His glory.



Prepare the way for the LORD. Lift up the gates!
Open the doors, let the music play!
Let the streets resound with singing!
Let's go, wait no longer, join His renown today and give Him all glory!



Just can't wait to get to heaven!

Pressing on towards the goal

Philippians 3:12-14

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 3:12-14

Paul here explains that he does ONE THING, but he shows up three fingers and says:
1. forgetting what is behind
2. straining toward what is ahead
3. pressing on toward the goal to win the prize

Paul was not playing dumb. He meant to focus on the 1st part.
It's easy enough for me to live out the 2nd and 3rd part.... But what's hardest sometimes is to forget the past.

Forgetting my past achievements
Forgetting my past mistakes
Forgetting my past pains

It must've been hard for Paul to preach about the One he just presecuted. Throughout his preaching days, he must've been continually reminded by Satan about how he used to persecute the one he now preaches about. Imagine how hard it would've been for him.

And now, I.

Forgetting here does not mean I lose the memory of what happened, it means that past memories loses all power to grip me and hold me back from achieving what the Father has in store for me.

Satan always uses your past against you. What do you do? You remind him of his future. And you tell him that God is your father, that you are the child of the owner of the universe. Are you afraid to face issues in life because you're reminded of your past? Know this:

We did not recieve the spirit that makes us a slave again to fear, but we have recieved the spirit of sonship and by Him we cry "Abba, Father".


Stare your fear in the eye, say: "My father has given me authority over you. Get out of my way."



My prayer: Thank You for Your grace, Father.
Help me to forget the past. Help me to forgive myself, because You've already forgiven me by Jesus' blood. I receive again the courage that comes as a result of being Your child. If You are for me, then who can be against me? I love you Jesus.

His Glory or Mine?

His, of course =)

Taman S.E.A - part 2 -

Other reasons why I miss Taman S.E.A.

Relationships! Classmates and friends who make your day!
- Friends who get you into trouble but never fails to get you out of it.


SK, Jeen, Shannon, Yvonne..

SK, do your best in Cuba! Stay round, not a cube.. haha..

Sam, when are you and ::ahem:: guy? let more people know?
I had to find out from others...


- Teachers who we sometimes frustrate, and who sometimes bore us, and yet we know their heart, and they're human like us..



I wish I had more suitable pictures to add, pictures have a higher 'stories-told-per-bytes' ratio...........

Anyway! 6 Atas Kenanga!!! I will not add pictures for these... cause I haven't any =)

Taman S.E.A. - part 1 -

I miss SMK Taman S.E.A. for several reasons:

1. My CF! Been there for 7 whole years! Seen it all, done it all! This post is just for the CF!

7 CF Camps, 7 postal quizzes, 7 BK quizzes, and hundreds of mamak sessions!


First one goes to my CF teacher. Pn Julie!
She's been a real guide, and a blessing. For you Taman SEAers who dread her discipline, remember that discipline builds character! Invaluable to your future! So start appreciating it! Heh.
Hid the face to show how humble we CFers are. Or rather, because I couldn't find any better pictures.
And the other Cf teachers too, Pn. Joy, Pn. Phua, Pn Carol, Miss Anne, Pn. Caroline.



My '06/07 CF commitee. We were at the CF camp back then. The people who I've taken for granted sometimes. God bless all of you! Sorry if I left anyone out.

Left to right->
Aku,(VP)
Mike J,(Music)
Kel Vin,(Music)
Josiah,(Music)
Yew San,(Secretarial)
Jeremy,(Treasury)
Raymas,(Portfolioless haha)
John,(PA)
Clarice,(Music)
Me,
Er where did that guy come from? Thomas?
Jared,(PA)
Wei Jun,(PA)
Samuel,(Khas)
Cheng Hong,(Khas)
Charmaine,(Music)
Oh no what was her name?(Music)
Chow Ern,(Khas)
Mei Wan,(Khas)
Su Laine,(Khas)
Brandon,(Khas)
Hui Ying,(Khas)
Timothy,(PA)
Wai Yan,(VP)
Gloria,(Secretarial)
Christine,(VP)
Chow Ping,(Recess Meetings)
Chloe,(Khas)
Yuen Yim,(Recess Meetings)
Huey Lin.(Khas)

Others who were absent:
Joanne(Recess Meetings)
Tian Xiong(Khas)




This one's special. Tian Xiong!(rightmost). God somehow used me to mentor Him. Used to be very quiet. By His grace, today TX is a faithful servant in the CF! Woohoo!


That was me(white top with black pattern) during our CF Camp in '06. A random pic.


This one goes to you Sook Kuan!(rightmost) Sorry lar, hard to find a picture.
-Friends are rare. Friends like SK are rareR.


My mentors and friends. (From left), Lordson, Hoc Mun, Christopher, Jeen, Rachel, Josh, Naresh, Simon, and Thad!


Our CF meeting in '04. We had two rooms back then. Now it's one. Still, it's not about the numbers. It's about lives.

The superb dance team back then! A real testimony by the CF to the school














We have candlelight sessions(unplugged worship in the Peacehaven carpark) everytime we have CF camp! This one was 6 years ago.














CF Camp '03 Group Photo.

CF Presidents
2001 - Yew Kong
2002 - Yew Meng
2003 - Janice
2004 - Lester
2005 - Rachel
2006 - Tze Nie
2007 - Me
2008 - Alysha
2009 - Wai Yan
2010 - Jared?
2011 - Tian Xiong?
2012 - Yew Leung?

You know, I realised I don't appear in many of the group pictures either. What can I say, leadership is a lonely responsibility.

HAHA. Let's see if the unforeseen comes to pass. God bless Taman SEA CF. CF belongs to You alone. So do every life that is influenced as a result of You using the CF.

You reign, King Jesus.

Emotions long gone. Moving On.

Moving on, once and for all means, once u tell God "I dun wanna feel this way again, I wanna put this rock down because it's too heavy for me to carry, I wanna hand my life, thoughts, and everything back to You. God I know it will b hard, You know it's hard. So, I ask of You to carry me through this, to be my strength and comforter...."

by a close friend

... because I cannot carry it with my own frail strength. I pray that in Your grace and mercy, I will not look back or pick up what I left behind. Change my heart LORD from seeking the past to seeking your face.

by Me

How do I handle my burdens?

Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

2 Cor 12:8-9

Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.

He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.

Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;

but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

Isaiah 40:28-31

"But they that wait upon the LORD
shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings as EAGLES
they shall run, and not be weary;
and they shall walk, and not faint"

An eagle knows when a storm is approaching long before it breaks. The eagle will fly to some high spot and wait for the winds to come. When the storm hits, it sets its wings so that the wind will pick it up and lift it above the storm. While the storm rages below, the eagle is soaring above it. The eagle does not escape the storm, it simply uses the storm to lift it higher. It rises on the winds that bring the storm.
The storms do not have to overcome us, we can allow God's power to lift us above them. God enables us to ride the winds of the storm that bring sickness, tragedy, failure, and disappointment into our lives. We can soar above the storm.
It is not the burdens of life that weigh us down, it is how we handle them.

Fleedom

Where can I run from your presence?
Where can I go that You are not already there?
Where can I hide?

You are everywhere, and you are always carrying me. I'm safe, I'm secure. Because You're with me. Help me to remember that, God.

An endless horizon of grace

Be my strength
Be my solution
Be my salvation,
in this dark hour.

Even more dependent on your mercy and grace,
Me

Blogarithms

I absolutely loathe my matrix algebra homework! Leave me alone! =)

Out of Grace?

LORD,
It's been a few months. Will things get better? Have things gotten better? I don't know myself. This fear. I've tried running away. I've tried facing it. I've tried hiding. Yet I feel just as afraid as ever.

I don't know how much more of myself I can handle. You said patience, time and time again. It's clear that patience is the key. It's like the whole world is telling me to wait. And yet, I'm not hanging in there that well, LORD. I'm not sure if I can wait anymore. My mind is digging my soul for answers.

Where are You, Father? I'm lost. Find me LORD, for I can't find You with my own strength.
Simply because I'm human, a human with

Trust that's wearing thin,
Hope that's hanging low,
Courage that's seeping away,
Weakness that want's to wield me,
Fear that's gripping tight,
and a messed up, inadequate, life.

Yet in spite of a cruel circumstance, I know I'll never run out of Your grace that keeps me going. And I've got You to call on anytime.
LORD, I know You won't leave me in this dump. Help me out soon, God.

Your loved one,
Me.

Saving Grace

I'm holding on to You I'm never letting go
'Cause You have saved my soul
And You have made me whole

You took my brokenness
And filled me with Your joy

All I long to do is worship
All I long to do is bring You praise
For nothing compares to You
My Saving Grace

Jesus Saviour
My life belongs to you forever 'Cause you have set my heart on fire And You have set me free

Why complain about my sorrows? Why the brokenness? Why all the pain?

Jesus, You have set me free!

One Purpose

My life serves but one purpose and one purpose alone, that is to lift the name of Jesus high.
And I do this by obeying His call,
1. To love Him with all my heart, soul, mind and strength.
2. To love others as myself

This life we live, for the glory of the LORD.

If you're going through a time of confusion, the best and definite way of clearing the cloudy mist is to be focused. On Jesus. In the light of Him, all things don't have to make sense. We don't have to know al the answers. And the confusion may not have to clear, but at least the confusion will not bother us when we're with Jesus.

Turn your eyes upon Jesus, and lift His name high.

He's waiting!

God bless your day ahead.

Redeemer Savior Friend

An old song, yet a very meaningful one. Enjoy...



I know You had me on Your mind
When You climbed up on that hill
For You saw me with eternal eyes
While I was yet in sin
Redeemer Savior Friend

Every stripe upon Your battered back
Every thorn that pierced Your brow
Every nail drove deep through guiltless hands
Said that Your love knows no end
Redeemer Savior Friend

Redeemer redeem my heart again
Savior come and shelter me from sin
You're familiar with my weakness
Devoted to the end
Redeemer Savior Friend

So the grace You poured upon my life
Will return to You in praise
I'll gladly lay down all my crowns
For the name of which I am saved
Redeemer Savior Friend

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound - Only by your grace, nothing else
That saved a wretch like me - I have been rescued from my own foolishness
I was once lost, but now am found - I am in full confusion, only to find myself in your arms
Was blind but now I see - I did not understand your ways, you revealed them to me


I was lost due to my own foolishness, and decision to stray from You. Now am found because of Your grace that made me come back. Was blind. I sometimes don't understand why things happen the way they do, what I've done wrong to deserve what I go through, yet, I don't always need to know the answers. Now I see. I may or may not see the goodness of Your plans for I only see from human insight, but I see now that it always is good.

Thank You Father for Your grace.

Sigh

It's a sigh. I don't quite know what kind of sigh it is. Don't know if it's a sigh of relief, or a sigh of frustration, or a sigh of confusion. It's a sigh!

I wonder if it's a tool, an inner mechanism for humans to sigh, made by God to let us reflect our deep emotions of joy and pain as a physical manifestation.

Yet, I'm sighing. Been an unproductive week. Been slacking. Been finding problems with motivating myself to perform well. I was sighing because I wish I was more keen on studies. Now I'm sighing because I'm confused with my priorities. Am I lacking motivation for studies because I'd rather be motivated for building friendships with my Uni friends? Am I prioritising my studies or my relationships. I'm confused! What do I want?

I want you, Jesus.

Unfailing Love

You have my heart
And I am yours forever
You are my strength
God of grace and power

And everything
You hold in Your hand
Still You make time for me
I can't understand

Praise You, God of earth and sky
How beautiful is Your unfailing love
Unfailing love
And You never change, God, You remain
The Holy One and my unfailing love
Unfailing love

You are my rock
The One I hold on to
You are my song
And I sing for You

And everything
You hold in Your hand
Still You make time for me
I can't understand

Praise You, God of earth and sky
How beautiful is Your unfailing love
Unfailing love
And You never change, God, You remain
The Holy One and my unfailing love
Unfailing love

And everything (everything)
You hold in Your hand
And still You make time for me
I can't understand (can't understand still)

Praise You, God of earth and sky
How beautiful is Your unfailing love
Unfailing love
And You never change, God, You remain
The Holy one and my unfailing love
Unfailing love
(I will praise You)

-Chris Tomlin. Arriving 2004.

GOD

Creator
Father
LORD
King
Friend
Saviour
Majestic One
Gracious LORD
Almighty God
One who watches our greatest needs
Giver of good gifts
Understanding comforter
Keeper of every promise
Covenant maker
Passionate Fire in my heart
Ever forgiving one
One who loves our enemies
One who compels us to love
whose love is vast and knows no bounds
Influencer
Protector
Shield of Hope
Light of the World
Manna from Heaven
Vine who holds us
Unchanging Father
Companion in troubled times
Maker of knowledge
Sculptor of all creatures
One who controls time
One who controls our future
Most High
King of Glory
Leader of the Host of Angels
Righteous One
Messiah
Name above all names
Emmanuel
Rescue for sinners
Cross carrier,
One who never fails,
Perfect One
One who secures us
The God who never lets us go
He who makes time for us
God of the Earth and Sky
God of the seas and dry land
The one of unfailing love
The Truth, the way and the Life
Beautiful One
Compassionate Saviour
Mountain remover
You calm the oceans
You're the adoration of all creation
One we're living for
Love that frees us
Master craftsman
Redeemer
Friend who saved us to love us
Ransom from heaven
Source of Joy
LORD of Justice
Prince of Peace
Gentle Voice
Holy
Inventor of Wisdom
Author of Life
Healer
Ambassador
You hold all things together
Universe Maker
Star Breather
Humble one
All-powerful
Unfailing One
The great I AM

Words can never accurately describe You, God. With unending time, we could never list down a complete dictionary that describes you. You're simply indescribable. You created our minds, therefore you control how much we can think. You call yourself the great I AM because YOU ARE who YOU ARE. You don't have to describe it to us because we wouldn't understand.

On Fire

"On Fire"

They tell you where you need to go
They tell you when you'll need to leave
They tell you what you need to know
They tell you who you need to be

But everything inside you knows
There's more than what you've heard
There's so much more than empty conversations
Filled with empty words

And you're on fire
When He's near you
You're on fire
When He speaks
You're on fire
Burning at these mysteries

Give me one more time around
Give me one more chance to see
Give me everything You are
Give me one more chance to be... (near You)

Cause everything inside me looks like
Everything I hate
You are the hope I have for change
You are the only chance I'll take

When I'm on fire
When You're near me
I'm on fire
When You speak
And I'm on fire
Burning at these mysteries
These mysteries...

I'm standing on the edge of me [x3]
I'm standing on the edge of everything I've never been before.
And i've been standing on the edge of me
Standing on the edge

And I'm on fire
When You're near me
I'm on fire
When You speak
(Yea) I'm on fire
Burning at these mysteries... these mysteries... these mysteries
Ah you're the mystery

You're the mystery

A new Passion

A new passion, a new passion for our Muslim BROTHERS AND SISTERS, a new passion for our pre-believers in UKM, fellow creation and masterpieces, works of art, images of a divine Father, crafted enthusiastically and lovingly, bearers of a God of variety and beauty!!

Help me God, compel me with your love, to love them more. For I cannot love them with my love, if it is love at all. Compel me, so that I have absolutely no choice but to love them with Your love.

UKM, HERE I COME!!!!!!!!!!!!
22I did not see a temple in the city, because the Lord God Almighty and the Lamb are its temple. 23The city does not need the sun or the moon to shine on it, for the glory of God gives it light, and the Lamb is its lamp. 24The nations will walk by its light, and the kings of the earth will bring their splendor into it. 25On no day will its gates ever be shut, for there will be no night there. 26The glory and honor of the nations will be brought into it.

There goes

There goes my math paper. Flunked it.

Out of 60 marks, I've only managed 45 at MAX. If every math question I've completed within that 45 marks is correct, then I can breathe a sigh of relief. Sadly, doubt settles in and says that might not be the case. Ah well, every failure has a better life lesson behind it.

Never flunked my math paper before. Maybe this is what academic failure tastes like. Not to my fond taste at all. =)


Failure! Look behind and you see a lure to just be bitter about it. Wake up, and learn from failure! =)

My Mid Semester Exams

1. Just one day to go, I have not even read half my syllabus for one third of my subjects yet. That means I'm only 1/6 prepared!!!! 28 HOURS TO GO!
2. And then I wonder if it's just my lazy nature that makes me procrastinate with my work. How does one differentiate between 'taking a break' and 'lazing around'? OK, maybe for some people out there, it is quite a clear cut difference. But I can't seem to find that fine line. Where is it?
3. Or maybe I AM just too busy, too many things for my little hands to handle. And then I struggle with the thought that maybe I'm not believing that I can handle all these responsibilities simultaneously. One can commit to everything, but not be focused in all of it. Should I take a break? Step down from responsibilities?
4. Or maybe my mind is just in a mess because of all that's happened in the past few months. Too messy a mess in my mind eats up a lot of my time when I think about things, or does it not? I'm so worried in making the right decisions to get myself out of the mess that sometimes throws me deeper into it.
5. Or maybe it's my spiritual walk. Missing my appointments with God? Too sleepy to get up in the morning to fulfil my devotions? Or I'm being overly noisy that I can't hear my God speak.

OF COURSE, these are just possibilities my mind has thought of in the past 10 minutes. Care to pick which you think fits you most, in YOUR troubled times?

Regardless, the answer and solution to your troubled times remains simple, just that we fail to remember it sometimes. The answer: Absolute trust in God.

Trust in the LORD your God with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. Prov 3:5-6

Frustration

Are you frustrated? I am. I am
clouded by it. I'm lost. I don't know which direction to run first. So where do I begin? I begin in the word of God. And in Your Word, I find You, Jesus.

Peace that transcends all understanding, found only in You, Jesus. When you're in the right place in my heart, the mist and clouds of frustration might remain, yet a light strong enough pierces through, and shows me a way out. A beam of hope out of this cloud of frustration..

Leaving all of it behind, all it's messiness. I'm moving on. Bye, past.

Wait upon the Holy Spirit. He's searching for you, give Him time to find you.

The LORD is my light and my salvation—
whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the stronghold of my life—
of whom shall I be afraid?

Wait for the LORD;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD

Psalm 27: 1, 14

I stand amazed

I stand amazed in the presence
Of Jesus the Nazarene,
And wonder how He could love me,
A sinner, condemned, unclean.

Chorus:
O how marvelous! O how wonderful!
And my song shall ever be:
O how marvelous! O how wonderful!
Is my Savior's love for me!

He took my sins and my sorrows,
He made them His very own;
He bore the burden to Calvary,
And suffered and died alone.

When with the ransomed in glory
His face I at last shall see,
’Twill be my joy through the ages
To sing of His love for me.

Satay Kajang

When you've read the post title, it's natural to assume "Oh, it's going to be a story about the blogger's experience with Satay Kajang" .. Well be disappointed! Hah.

Yes I did have Satay Kajang. Yet it was not the highlight of the whole trip.
Met up with Josh Chin, Terrence, Yvonne, and say, "T", for confidentiality.
T is a Mormon, and he also admits he's gay. Yvonne starts this conversation with T, and it was indeed a learning experience. I've never been in personal contact with a Mormon before.

He shares his faith, and his viewpoint about life, Mormonism, and Christianity.

Couple of things I found out about Mormons

• They believe there is one God for this world, and with the existence of other worlds, there are other gods too.
• They believe God started somewhere. And that being a human being. He goes through a process that enables him to reach a higher order. Likewise, each man, is able to draw closer to God by reaching a higher order, and becoming like God himself.
• They believe that hell is separation from god and heaven is closeness to god. Which is of course our belief as well.
• They believe in God's omnipotence and omniscience. Omnipresence however, applies more to the holy Spirit.
• They believe the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are different beings, not the same God.
• They believe in a 'spirit prison', and a 'paradise', which are intermediates between heaven and hell. People who die before Judgement day and are believers go to 'paradise', whereas those who had not had the chance to hear about Christianity go to 'spirit prison'. And the saints from 'paradise' go down to 'spirit prison' to share about Christianity.
• They know A LOT about what they believe. Do we?

Either way, he is at the point of searching for an absolute truth. As a matter of fact, everyone is. Most find in the wrong places. Christians sometimes find it in the wrong places too. People are asking questions about life; a deeper meaning, a deeper purpose.

What are we doing about it, as Christians?
The world is waiting.
The world is searching.
The world needs God's love.
The world needs Jesus Christ.
Who will tell them?

Friendship Evangelism

-URGENT-

Who crosses your path every day?
- Most of the time, who do you spend your time with?
Church friends?
CF friends?
Outgoing, more 'up-to-standards' people?

- Who do you spend less time with?
Quieter classmates?
Friends from different cultural backgrounds?

- Who do you HARDLY NOTICE?
Cleaners?
Shopkeepers?
Security guards?
Quiet classmates?

65% of our population is at stake. The least reached people in Malaysia. Yes you know who they are. They are around you. Everywhere. They are wondering what to do next. They are wondering why they are made to believe something since they were born. They are looking for an absolute truth in an a world full of lies. Who will share it with them? Will Jesus do it? What would Jesus do?

Wake up, friends. Stop gloating over your own petty problems. Wake up and look at the larger picture. An infinitely larger problem is ahead. Your fellow countrymen has their eternity are at stake.

Free Fruits!

Yesterday was just gruesome. With fruits!! We had pesta buah-buahan in our college( KOLEJ Ibu Zain) last night. My first impression when I saw the publicity notice on the toilet door was, "Ah, they're going to sell fruits at a cheaper price that's all. I'm not to free to go buy them. Besides, I've got assignments, tutorials and lab reports to finish up on." Incidentally, I was writing my lab report in the college lobby when a faculty-mate invited me to the pesta buah-buahan which was less than 100m away..

I TELL YOU, I HAVE NEVER IN MY LIFE EATEN

FREE

DURIANS, RAMBUTANS, & MANGOSTEENS!!!

Ok, maybe that wasn't so encouraging. So???? It definitely took my mind off my studies and working! I had so much durian(bear in mind they WERE SWEET) I felt so warm even after I took a cold bath. So many free fruits!!! Must have been rm100 of durians in my tummy that night.

Racist remark: Now I know why the malays are so happy all the time. Fully sponsored fruits from the loving government..

Haha, I'm staying in Ibu Zain Residential College next year. You should too! Free fruits!

Complaining about his providence?

You know, when we thank God for his provision, it's so often, if not always that we thank Him for physical providence, such as finances, a car, a meal, after we recieve it. That's nothing wrong in that at all.

However, what about when God provides something that we aren't quite satisfied about?

Something we do not want? Not our expectation?

Something we don't deem to be a form of provision from God?

Take for example, God places us in a particular situation, such as a deep trough in life, or maybe we're in a dissatisfactory university or college. No friends, bad lecturers, even traffic problems each time you drive to a lecture. Is that provision from God?

Will we still surrender our situation to God, and thank Him for his provision? To have a spirit of thanksgiving in every situation? Or are we of the assumption that it's not His provision just because our needs weren't fulfilled at that particular moment?

One good example was the Israelite spies who were about to take the land of Canaan. They agreed that the land was good. In accordance with God's promise to bring them to a land flowing with milk and honey. BUT, they listening to false reports and discouragement instead of believing that God will grant them the land.

When you don't believe God will bring you through, you're actually doubting His integrity.

Stop complaining! Take courage!

If you've gotten out of a bad situation recently, He's provided for you!

If you're still in a deep trough or pit, He's providing you with a life lesson, teaching and guiding you in every step, EVEN IF YOU CAN'T TRACE HIS HAND! =)

Thank You LORD, You never cease to provide the best for us, whether or not we consider it to be the best =)

Stop worrying. Start trusting.

Wait? How long more? I just gotta wait. I'm worried.
I gotta wait for God to His work in His timing. Always been taking matters into my own hands, thinking I've got it all under control. Then You step in and show how foolish my seemingly assuring plans are. You never cease to amaze me , God.
Gotta keep pushing hard.. gotta keep pressing into You.
Gotta focus on what's ahead of me now.. not what has been left behind.
Gotta stop worrying. Gotta start trusting. Gotta remain in You. Gotta give you all praise.

Gotta get this passion for Jesus to replace my desire to worry about my own problems. I will not turn back and worry about my past. I will look forward to see how I can glorify His name.

What happened to your passion for Jesus?
Then I said, I will not make mention of him, nor speak any more in his name. But his word was in my heart as a burning fire shut up in my bones, and I was weary with forbearing, and I could not stay.
Jeremiah 20:9

What happened to living by faith?
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and he will make your paths straight.
Prov 3:5-6


Difficulties last only a while, but God's care for you is eternal!
Stop worrying about your own problem, about how you're going to get over it. Start looking around and see how insignificant your problem is as compared to the millions of lives that won't enter heaven just because you were so caught up with your own issues!